All Aboard!!

I am not an Atheist - but I often play one in real-life!



In the past I've been accused, quite accurately by people who really know me, of living a double-life.

It's not that I'm clinically schizophrenic or that I'm "possessed" by a legion of personalities -but when I feel like merging with the crowd or company that I'm with - the principals and beliefs that I cling to in the deeper parts of my being become conveniently "hidden" or remain undisclosed. It's not hypocrisy in its purest sense, because I do not act differently from my words - but I just stay away from words that would reveal my "true" identity.

If people suspect that I might be religious, or worse yet - Catholic, what will they think of me?

This is nothing more than cowardice by any name.

It seems that in our society - being Catholic, more than just "Christian" is an invitation for derision or at best a kind of "branding" that places one in a generally unpopular zone of society. The assumption is often made that Catholics are on the wrong side of whatever side everyone else in on. In other words - not conservative enough for the right - and too conservative for the left.

What is more - Catholics, being somewhat easy pickings, have become the "whipping boys" and comparative morality measuring tools for justifying immoral excesses that anyone wishes to perform. "I'm not so bad," is the claim, "compared to the behavior of so many Catholics over the years!!!"

THE BITTERSWEET FRUIT OF THE BADLY BEHAVED

One of my favorite Roman Catholic media figures, Fr. Benedict Groeschel, has said that you can't blame the Protestants entirely for the Reformation - it happened because the Catholics were misbehaving!!

Why does it seem so shocking that an organization involving human beings should make mistakes and mess up?

Just because it's the Church doesn't make it exempt from human failure - in fact, one of the primary functions of the Church is to offer a place of repentance and restoration amongst other imperfect people - if the Church had always been perfect - then more than half of the New Testament would never have been written, as many of the letters of the Apostles were written to address disputes and moral shortcomings among members of the early churches.

Ironically, I think, that the fact that we are so aware of the hypocrisies and failings of others is one of the subtle "proofs" of the presence of the divine within us - it reveals a healthy conscience that drives us to be more moral and to hold others to a higher standard, more often than not, than we ourselves can attain!!

The Catholic Church has been compared to an ark - I'd say that's a good metaphor - an organized zoo that carries a variety of living beings that sometimes smell and "eat" each other to higher ground.

But, if you realize that your world is sinking, then it's the best place to be!!

SETTING SAIL

As I weigh my options about the Truth (capital "T") - I find that I have been unable to accept the Atheist's position, and I cannot be an Agnostic, because I think I know where God is, and to not accept the responsibility of acting on that knowledge would be unreasonable in my mind. My conscience won't allow it.

I have to climb aboard the Ark of the Church. Although it moves very, very slowly and often drifts off course, it DOES have well defined bearings. Its crew isn't always made up of great sailors, but the Admiral promises to lead them, despite their occasional mutinies and weaknesses.

NOT A SHIP OF FOOLS

The Ark of the Church is very large and has room for all kinds of people. The Church isn't just for Catholics - it's Catholic because it's for all kinds of people - ironically, especially for those who doubt and question their beliefs. It's not for unbelievers, or for those who REFUSE to believe, but it has a very warm spot for those who doubt and constantly seek answers. I was surprised by that. In the Catholic Church I can practice my faith until I get it right amongst others who sometimes think that they already do have it right - just like Jesus' early disciples, and if that's OK with God, then it's OK with me too!!

I don't know if I can claim that I am being courageous to admit being a Catholic - but it's definitely something that I'd never thought I'd do.

NEXT TIME: What being a Catholic means to me.... (and what it DOESN'T mean!)