More on Thoughtless Awareness

"In the state of thoughtless awareness 

we think neither of the past nor of the future. 

We are entirely in the present moment, 

in the state of being, and do not waste 

the precious moments of life 

thinking about times that are finished forever 

or yet to come. 

We start to enjoy our Self, our spirit, 

our own inner beauty and 

the beauty of creation. 

We start to enjoy being. 

We are able to enjoy the singing of birds 

and the scent of flowers at a much deeper level 

as we are no longer bombarded by 

the meaningless mental chatter 

that assails our awareness and pollutes our attention, distracting us from the simple joys of our existence.”

- Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

MEDITATION "WARNINGS"

A lot of well-intentioned people used to warn me that meditation was potentially dangerous because it involved "emptying" or "blanking out" the mind, and therefore could lead to mental illness, or a kind of insanity. 

Others told me that meditation involved holding the breath unnaturally for extended periods, or adopting strange postures, as if meditation were a physical exertion or strain. 

But, since I began practicing Sahaja Meditation, I have found meditation to be simple, natural and most pleasurable. In the center of the experience is a state called “Thoughtless Awareness,” (Sanskrit: Nirvichar Samadhi) which is not the "blanking out" of the mind, but rather the releasing or letting go of thought as the controlling function in your consciousness. 

WE ARE WHAT WE THINK - OR NOT

In our day to day life thoughts make the rules - they determine our emotions, our reactions, and whether we experience stress or peace throughout the day. Our thoughts can lead us into worry and cause us to lose sleep and ultimately can cause ill-health. Hence the meaning behind the word "dis-ease."

"How to do meditation, many people ask?  Don’t do anything, just go into thoughtless awareness.  Try to go to the thoughtless awareness.  If you can get into that condition of thoughtless awareness, you’ve done your job because that’s the point where you are with the truth, with the reality, with the joy, with everything that is so fundamental." 

- Shri Mataji

I began practicing Sahaja Meditation, a couple of months ago now,  and although I've tried various other types of meditation before, i.e. Mantra, Kriya, Siddha, Vipassyana, Zen..... in Sahaja practice, meditation is not a means for achieving enlightenment or awakening - it is in fact, the vehicle that enables the enjoyment or experience of that state already present within. There IS no attainment - just the realization of it. It is truly effortless and natual.

"Enjoyment is only possible when you are beyond your mind. With your mind you can never enjoy. It's like a big load. It will not act, it will not help. Enjoyment comes when you are in complete silence - in a ripple less lake. The reflection of all the joy that is created on the shores of that lake are completely reflected, they are not deflected. If there were ripples it would have been a different image altogether and would have been something nowhere near the image of reality."

- Shri Mataji 

CAGING THE MONKEY-MIND

In Thoughtless Awareness - it is not that the thoughts don't come into the mind; they still parade through like hyperactive monkeys, and the mind, guided by the ego, still wants to react and/or respond to the thoughts immediately. But the thoughts no longer have a place to "land" and become a "passing show," almost as if the thoughts become independent and have  a mind of their own. 

When I practiced meditation of other kinds - I would find it very difficult to stay still for 20 minutes. I'd become bored, or drowsy, or worse - I'd drift off into fantasy land or begin making "worry lists" of all that I had to think about....in Sahaja it is different. I remain consciously alert - but in a state beyond thought - where there is awareness of the depth of consciousness that is usually "hidden behind" immediate, demanding thoughts. This unhindered awareness exists in stillness and perfect quiet. The sensation is like being restfully asleep while simultaneously being fully conscious of all that is happening around you. I now can enter extended periods of meditation - 40 minutes or more - without leg cramps, drowsiness, or boredom. It is a wonderful experience.


There are many methods of meditation - and it is a personal preference as to which one works the best for each person. Some people might find Sahaja Meditation unsuitable for them - and they may not take to it. The first time I tried it - about 16 years ago - I just didn't get it. It seemed strange and ineffective. This time - I learned the basic technique in about 20 minutes and this time it felt natural and I experienced the benefits almost immediately. 


THE "BLUE PEARL" EXPERIENCE

I've had some very vivid visual experiences while practicing Sahaja. Not the least of which is what is called "The Blue Pearl." Where in a state of deep meditation, a vivid circle of bright blue light - appears internally, mentally, behind closed eyes, in a position just above the eyes, between the eyebrows. This has happened several times as I meditated in complete darkness with eyes closed.


I did some research on this experience and found reference to it in a few places. The most interesting being the observations of Swami Muktananda, who wrote about his experiences with "The Blue Pearl" as follows:

"......the Blue Pearl, dwells in the sahasrara, the spiritual center in the crown of the head. It is the body of the Self. All consciousness is contained in it. All of the dynamism of the breathing process comes from the Blue Pearl. When that light enters the body, the rhythm of breathing begins. When it departs from the body, consciousness departs from the bloodstream, the nerves and the lungs, leaving everything limp and lifeless. "Death" is simply the name we give to the departure of the Blue Pearl from the body."

- Swami Muktananda, from "Does Death Really Exist?"

After having this vivid experience - I was obviously very excited, and my ego got the better of me and I began to think that "I had arrived..., I was special." But I shared my experienced with some long-time practicioners of Sahaja Meditation and they smiled and, in so many words, told me to "....just ignore it, it'll go away, it's not that important - just another distraction...!!!" I was irritated at first - because I'd always thought that there would be "flashing lights" and "glowing visions" associated with enlightenment - but alas, awakening or enlightenment is, as many meditation masters have said, perfectly ordinary and natural but sublime..... Shri Mataji, the founder of Sahaja Meditation has reportedly said that these visual experiences are not that important and a lot of so-called Gurus have used these experiences as "proof" of the validity of their status - while actually they are not that significant, but merely indicators of other factors in your consciousness, some positive, some negative. So it goes.....

So, I'm learning to ignore the signposts, because the reality is, that there is no destination other than where I already am. As I said before, meditation is not a path to another level of existence or awareness - it is a means of enabling the experience of the "real" or "true" consciousness that is behind all the thoughts and conditioning that the ego/mind conspiracy has generated as a kind of protection that makes us believe that happiness or contentment is somewhere else, or outside of us. 

Meditation is more than just not thinking, or breathing, it is perhaps better described as a way of learning to see, feel and hear reality more clearly as it is right now.

_________________________

Who Am I?

Jiddu Krishnamurti gives a great answer to the question: "Who are you?"

The Whole Story

SPOILER ALERT - I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.....

WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME

When our kids were young - we encouraged their belief in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and all sorts of imaginary characters. We wanted them to enjoy the wonderful full-on experience of childhood, in all its imaginative and creative moments of splendor.

As our children grew older, they began to question the reality of these characters, their magical existence suddenly became less certain and illogical. So we pondered how we might transition them to the realities of adulthood. Our decision was to tell our kids that Santa Claus etc. were "conditional" beings. It was necessary to believe in them in order for them to exist. This seemed to satisfy their curiosity for a while, they rarely asked about it anymore after that, and gradually they started to participate in the "game" by continuing the tradition of leaving out cookies and milk on Christmas Eve, even though we all secretly knew that reality was radically different. Our kids are grown now and they still love to continue the "make believe" traditions that we started when they were young.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

Recently I've begun to see that religious or spiritual beliefs are similar to the childhood interpretations of reality that children believe in their innocence. Before I saw through the illusory barrier that is created by beliefs, I clung to the creeds and vows that were proclaimed by the various institutions of faith. I saw them as being true interpretations of a reality that I hoped someday to realize. As a Christian I clung to the creed and the sacraments, believing that in them was contained the means to be united with the source of my future destiny in Heaven. As a Buddhist I chanted parts of the Sutras and took refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha - striving through the intentional practice of meditation and chanting to secure my place in the eternal Pure Land.

After years and years of these practices - and the experience of never gaining any ground on my search for truth, or fulfillment,  I felt further away from the peace even after I kept re-doubling my efforts.

My thoughts constantly resolved that I would be complete, happy, and peaceful, if I could just get a better understanding of scripture - if I just chanted with a little more sincerity. If I could just get more of the gift of grace!!!!

Like a young child I strove to be a good conformer to the perceived standards that my image of God/Santa had for me, hoping that he would look favorably on me and give me what I wanted.

This is the true insanity of spiritual seeking. It has identifiable steps that look like this:

1. Recite a repeated belief until you believe that you believe it. Join a community of like believers so that you can support each other in your belief.
2. Live in awareness of the fact that you can never be worthy to receive the benefit of this adopted belief, and hope for grace.
3. Go out and "help" others to adopt the same beliefs as you.
4. Live life with hope for the future. Continue to strive, resting in the promise of future fulfillment.

WAKE ME, SHAKE ME

When I suddenly awoke from this dream I became aware of the truth of the story - the conditional reality that belief creates fell away and I began to see reality as that which is beyond belief. That which is not conditioned by belief is reality.

My first experience from awareness of the "Seeking Game" was one of being lost and alone - but this passed quickly and I opened up to the inter-connectedness of all things and saw that not only was I not alone - I was an integral part of all that is - the wholeness of everything. Yet my sense of personal ego was diminished. Belief no longer confined or defined me. My definition was extended beyond the ranges of my physical body and out into the rest of the universe. At first I was angry at how I had deceived myself with belief in belief! But after a while, like a maturing child I realized that I could re-enter the imaginary world of belief - go back to religion and spirituality, but with a sense of play and enjoyment - not for the purpose of attainment. There was no longer anything to obtain - now I could put out the "Cookies and Milk" (or, Pray and Meditate) in joy - and come back and eat them later in laughter. The story could be enjoyed even if I knew it was fantasy.

ALL OR NOTHING AT ALL

As part of the story of spirituality, I used to believe that enlightenment was something special - that it changed everything. That it would make me into a better me.  That was a fantasy also. Awakening, or enlightenment is to realize the absolute beauty of everything as it is - even yourself. Accepting it all, including yourself, warts and all. Pain and pleasure, birth and death. It's all a meaningful part of a purposeless dance that is human-ness.

Welcome to the whole story. It has a wonderful plot and a great cast of characters.

The Futility of Seeking

Recently, I attended a web-seminar given by Jeff Foster, a non-dualist "non-teacher" from the U.K., who struggled for several hours to describe the experience of nondual reality, using words that fail to explain the inexpressible.......... (For more information about Jeff you can go to his website.)

When the session was over - I  sensed a spirit of camaraderie among all the other attendees, together with Jeff, in the frustration of a consciousness that prevails in trying to balance the irreconcilable paradox of sensing how simple everything is, in practical reality, with how hard it is, in day to day terms, to accept things as they are and to enjoy the natural state of present consciousness, without this constant nagging "pain" or anxiety that drives us to seek to know more. To "attain enlightenment."

In my opinion, the issue of understanding, and/or "attaining" enlightenment seems to come down to two possible alternatives.

1. You can keep asking questions and conducting deep research until you find satisfactory answers to all the questions about the meaning and purpose of life. - or -
2. You can stop asking questions and accept things as they are.

OPTION ONE - THE ENDLESS PATHS

For most of my adult life, as a result of what I would call a "glimpse" of reality - a spiritual experience, some would call it - I have passionately pursued the first option. Diving deeply into the teachings of all the various world religions - looking for the practical evidence of truth - that I could appropriate and use to transform myself into a fully-enlightened person, so that I could live a fulfilling, meaningful existence in full conformity with that reality.

I have spent more than 30 years on that path - and I openly admit, candidly, that my experiences have revealed to me that all of the various religions of the world, although all proclaiming to have the One, Universal Truth that answers all of the deep questions, fall significantly short in confirming what I know from experience. Admittedly, each of the religions has done a fine job of developing explanations for the way things are - but none of them has done this in a manner that does not have some political or filial alternative agenda that strives to separate the outsiders from the insiders by some sort of non-verifiable "belief." As if reality is determined by what we believe about it - and not vice-versa.

All in all, I've seen religion as basically the proclamation of the observed interactions between the founder, or originator of the "teachings," and the disciples or followers and outsiders at a particular point in time. It is fairly obvious from the scriptures or traditions that remain, that very few, if any, of the narrators, or witnesses of the actual event thoroughly understood their leader. For examples of this, you need only look at the recorded words of Jesus, or the Buddha, in context, and observe the confusion among the hearers about what was actually being communicated. The reported words of Allah's angelic messenger to Muhammad also provide little verifiable information about the nature of reality, and in fact, the Sufi approach to Islam is geared toward the mystical nature of reality - focusing more on the questions that the Qur'an raises, than the details of the revelation itself, which deals more with vertical attitudes toward God and horizontal behavior between humans, than with the definitive answers to eternal questions.

The belief that there is one truth that conforms to reality, and the drive to find it, seems to be genetic in some of us - and in some ways, at least personally, it resembles a kind of compulsive syndrome or brain disorder, like an itch or mental "tick" that cannot be suppressed without great difficulty!!!

OPTION TWO - THE PATHLESS ENDS

So, hesitatingly, thanks to speakers (I won't say teachers, despite the temptation) like Jeff Foster, Scott Kiloby, Tony Parsons, Ramesh Balsekar, Randall Friend, Nathan Gill, John Greven, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Alan Watts and many others, who have written, spoken, and generally debated the idea of nondual reality very effectively within the confines of naturally dualistic language, I am decidedly persuaded to attempt the second approach to gaining, or experiencing enlightenment; learning to accept reality just as it is.   

WHERE DO I GO FROM NOT-HERE?

The precursor to realization of non-dual reality is to grasp the concept that gaining enlightenment is in fact an illusion of the mind. To become fully aware of the Oneness of all things it is vital to hold on to a core belief (until it becomes a verifiable personal experience) that we cannot change our consciousness from the outside. We can only let go of self-imposed mental boundaries that we have unwittingly agreed to maintain as a means of protection from the irrational fear of self-oblivion that our ego, as a protector of individual personality, has created. People who have drug-induced experiences of Oneness often refer to this as an "expansion of consciousness" - but, I think, that actually it is a reduction or breakdown of this ego-centered barrier, so that the mind is free to see beyond itself. Many contemporary seers and mystics, like Ram Dass and Alan Watts, who've experienced both  the drug-induced and natural experience of Oneness, say that the former is a "glimpse" of the latter, beneficial and sustainable state of mind.

LEARNING TO LET GO

So, from this point on - this blog will take a new direction - as I attempt to express in words, the indescribable experience of approaching nondual reality from a personal perspective. 

Now you may ask - dear reader - why this should matter to you? 

Good question. 

Perhaps it shouldn't and it's with that approach that I undertake this "experiment."  

However, I think, based on the feedback from some of my fellow listeners on yesterday's seminar, there are a lot of people who are struggling with getting to a place of consciousness that is already present. Like me, there are many who understand the theory of Advaita, or nondualism, but who cannot conceive of any way to experience it. Another way of saying that, perhaps in more nondualist terms: like me, they understand the logical possibility of nondual reality but they desire to experience the consciousness that arises from the dropping of the persistent illusory sense of an existing individual self, separate from every other thing in the universe.

Here's what Jeff Foster says, very profoundly, about nonduality:

"The message of nonduality is simple: 

nothing is separate from anything else. 

But apparent separation is at the root of everything the individual does; 

indeed, the individual is nothing but apparent separation, 

and that separation drives the entire spiritual search 

and the quest for the dissolution of the ego, 

as well as all worldly pursuits.

But the seeking mind (that is, "you", the individual) will never be able to grasp this message, 

as, to the mind, this message is nothing but its own dissolution, that is, its own death.

Yes, this message is death, but it is also life. All life is here, all life is now......."

- Jeff Foster, The Message of Nonduality, Beyond Awakening, p. 28

The Perfection of Practice

"If you wish to free yourself from the sufferings of birth and death you have endured since time without beginning and to attain without fail unsurpassed enlightenment in this lifetime, you must perceive the mystic truth that is originally inherent in all living beings."

- Nichiren Daishonin,

from "Attaining Buddhahood In This Lifetime," The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin Vol. I

"This is the judgment, that the Light has come into the world, and men loved the darkness rather than the Light, for their deeds were evil. For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. But he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God."

- Jesus,The Gospel according to St. John, Chapter 3:19-21

THE FAITH WITHIN

Is it really possible for one to free oneself, or to actually practice the truth? Whenever I hear promises or prophetic utterances like these by any ancient teacher, prophet, or founder of any religious affiliation, I, at first, feel full of hope and catch a glimmer of the possibility - I begin to have faith. But then as I try to pursue the practice that promises to enable me to "perceive", or "come to the light" (enlightenment) of the truth - the truth seems to move further away. It is a cat and mouse game that only results in a further sense of spiritual confusion and isolation from the "enlightenment" that promises peace and fulfillment.

What I am seeing, again and again, in all practices and belief systems is that the goal is really not somewhere out there - it is right here, within the very desire that drives me to seek for it.

In western spiritual terms; this already present condition of self-realization, or enlightenment, is referred to as "grace," - unmerited favor. In Biblical context it is given through faith - which is the gift. Thus the gift of faith produces grace which results in salvation, or fulfillment. In Buddhism it is the realization of the Buddhanature that is already present within all of us. In Christianity, it is the mind, or spirit of Christ, or the image of God, that dwells within us, no matter how tarnished or dark.

THE SAVIOR IN THE STONE

It is interesting how many Buddhists and Christians place so much emphasis on the personalities of the Buddha and Christ, yet what Buddha stressed, particularly in the teachings of the latter years of his life; The Lotus Sutra, in particular, is that he did not gain enlightenment. He perceived within himself the already existing nature of enlightenment and then dropped all clinging to everything that prevented the manifestation of it. Likewise, Jesus, according to the book of Hebrews (Chap. 5, Verse 9) "He became to all those who obey Him the source of eternal salvation." A good analogy that illustrates this process is that of a sculptor who does not create a form from a block of stone, but merely removes everything that prevents the form from being seen. The form is already in the stone - it just needs to be released.

TRUE ENTRUSTING

All forms of salvation - whether they relate to restoration of a fallen nature, or the realization of compassionate wisdom, or freedom from suffering - are not achieved through some effort in achieving a condition that can be added to our existence, but rather a dropping of all elements of our consciousness that prevent us from knowing that we are already "saved." There is the clue to the ultimate mystery - we look for salvation or enlightenment because we are already aware of it; else how would we recognize it when we see it? So, rather than grasping at attainment - seek to let go and trust the universe, or God to unfold itself/himself to you.

*Picture: The great Buddha statue in Nha Trang, Vietnam

Standing on Tiptoe

I was reviewing some of my old blog postings from a few years ago, and I came across this one - it's one of my favorites, and at the time that I posted it, I received a lot of positive comments. So here it is again.....

THE ETERNAL WAY OF TRUTH

In the writings and recorded words of the great masters and teachers of Truth (with a capital "T") it can be seen that they do not refer to themselves as founders of a religion - but more as discoverers or propagators of the "Way."

It is usually their disciples and followers who claim that their leaders' teachings are new or exclusive, and thus they construct a protective institution of religion around their teachers . Even those who later claim to be reformers and preservers speak more to the return or restoration of that which was known before and somehow lost or forgotten. There is a natural tendency to want to preserve and protect the truth - however, the methods of protection of the truth often become confused with the practice of truth itself.

There is a sanskrit expression "Sanatana Dharma" - which is often translated as "Eternal Truth" or "Eternal Law." It is this "Eternal Law" that appears to underlie all that has become known as "Religion." It is this principle that Jesus appears to refer to in the Sermon on the Mount when he compares the written law with the spirit of the law. i.e. "You have heard that......but, I say" (See Matthew 5.)

The search for Truth, or the understanding of reality, is a fascinating "mind game." It is seeing something again for the first time. The great teachers of the world are those that continue to direct us to the eternal reality - those who show us the destination that we've only seen on maps.

THE TRUSTWORTHY CAUSE OF CAUSES

Since I realized, (or re-discovered), that I could no longer claim to know the truth - but only interpret it according to my own choices - I am much more frequently at peace with myself, and less divided from others.

I no longer feel that I have to fear for the future of those who believe differently from me, or that I bear the unreasonable responsibility for their future - their destiny is in the hands of something far beyond my understanding; whether called God or identified as some law of boundless compassion that underlies the whole purpose of creation. The "Cause of all Causes" can be trusted - benevolence and forgiveness beyond any human level of measurement.

In all of my seeking and searching I was always "standing on tiptoe" - trying to see beyond my current situation. Literally, all of a sudden, in a blessing of grace - I can see that truth is not something distant that is different from the way things are - only my viewpoint needs to change.

The big questions like: Why do bad things happen to good people? Still bother me - but I can see that there is a more meaningful question beyond it. What can I do to really help people who are experiencing bad things, and what causes can be made to prevent this from happening? Perhaps when I do that it stops the bad things from being worse and may even result in better things in the future.

Instead of using the "why" question to justify doubt and fear - I can follow the example of those who have practiced wisdom, courage and compassion during moments of great trial and suffering by focusing on the bigger picture. By working and supporting the attitude of compassion, persistence and victory, I can contribute to the causes that help prevent tragedy.

THE BLINDNESS OF THE RELIGIOUS MIND

With a "religious" mind (one that believes that knowledge of something changes reality) it becomes all to easy to sit in judgment of bad situations as a consequence of sin or karma that can only be solved by something "other" than me. However with the awareness of the interconnected reality of all life and with the compassionate mind of a non-denominational human it can be seen that what happens to them "over there" is at least partly a consequence of what I'm doing "over here."

Rather than seeking shelter behind a wall of separation between myself and everything else - I need to step up and accept full responsibility for the chain-reaction impact of my own actions on everything else. This is truly "working out my own salvation with trembling and fear" (Philippians 2:12).

HAPPINESS

There's just no accounting for happiness,
or the way it turns up like a prodigal
who comes back to the dust at your feet
having squandered a fortune far away.

And how can you not forgive?
You make a feast in honor of what
was lost, and take from its place the finest
garment, which you saved for an occasion
you could not imagine, and you weep night and day
to know that you were not abandoned,
that happiness saved its most extreme form
for you alone.

No, happiness is the uncle you never
knew about, who flies a single-engine plane
onto the grassy landing strip, hitchhikes
into town, and inquires at every door
until he finds you asleep midafternoon
as you so often are during the unmerciful
hours of your despair.

It comes to the monk in his cell.
It comes to the woman sweeping the street
with a birch broom, to the child
whose mother has passed out from drink.
It comes to the lover, to the dog chewing
a sock, to the pusher, to the basket maker,
and to the clerk stacking cans of carrots
in the night.

It even comes to the boulder
int the perpetual shade of pine barrens,
to rain falling on the open sea,
to the wineglass, weary of holding wine."

- Jane Kenyon (1947 - 1995)