Lost and Found

This summer we've been clearing out, re-organizing and re-decorating some of the rooms in our house. It's involved making lots of emotionally draining decisions about what to keep, what to give away, and, hardest of all the choices, what to throw away.

As part of this process I went down into our basement and sorted through all of my old vinyl albums from the 60's, 70's and 80's. We bought storage bins and kept them all because the memories associated with the look, feel and sound of those albums are too deeply rooted in my whole being to ever consider the possibility. They are icons of my history.

When I was organizing and looking through all my prized Beatles albums - I noticed that my original 1967 copy of "Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" that I'd bought as an adolescent in London was missing. It was the album for the time that most significantly impacted my life. Perhaps the prize of my collection. I literally spent hours looking for it - pacing back and forth - feeling unreasonably distraught that such a thing should happen!

Then, yesterday, I happened to read the following in the World Community for Christian Meditation newsletter:

LOSING AND FINDING

"Remember the last time you suddenly realised you had lost something precious or valuable your wallet or passport, car keys or a ring of great emotional meaning. The feelings that surge up panic, self-reproach, grief, anxiety seem out of proportion to the actual value involved but connect us to all the patterns of past loss and our fears for the future. It touches into the fear of death that lies hidden most of the time and so reminds us that death itself is the ultimate separation we dread. We feel helpless, we begin to bargain with our gods; the most rational person can become superstitious. And when we find the lost treasure what do we feel? Relief, an overwhelming happiness and sense of reassurance, a glimpse of resurrection..."

- Fr. Laurence Freeman

Christian Meditation Newsletter, Vol. 30, No. 2; July 2006

Click here for link: http://www.wccm.org/item.asp?recordid=newsletter&pagestyle=default

When we lose something of value, especially something with emotional ties - we experience a glimpse of our deepest fears. The fear of separation, of loss of meaning, of purposelessness. This is what "Hell" must be like.....

The word often translated as "Hell" in the bible is the Greek word "Gehenna"- meaning the Valley of Hinnom. It refers to a garbage dump in a deep narrow valley right outside the walls of Jerusalem where fires were kept burning to consume the refuse and keep down the stench. It was a place where unwanted and useless things were dumped and forgotten. The Orthodox view of Hell is not a place, but a state of existence where the fire of God's unwanted love cries out in the defiant hearts of those who reject it. It is not a place where God chooses to send unbelievers, but a state of existence where unbelievers choose to go by their willful refusal to seek or accept God's unconditional love, and reject His presence.

I had always had a problem with the concept of Hell - I thought it was totally unjust for God to send people there just for not "accepting Jesus" - but my view was rather naïve, based on a dangerous literal interpretation of a few obscure passages. When I studied the views of the Church Fathers I discovered a different understanding of Hell - one that was historically held in the Church since the first century. St. Isaac of Syria says that those who hate God, "will be chastized with the scourge of love. How cruel and bitter this torment of love will be. The sorrow which takes hold of the heart which has sinned against love is more piercing than any other pain." "Eternity of hell," according to Orthodox Christianity, is "not the deprivation of the love or presence of God, but rather the torment of eternal existence in the presence of a Love which is unwanted, rejected and despised." (From "Our Faith", by Fr. John Matusiak).

God created us as emotional beings, in His image - that's why Jesus told us to love God with all our hearts, that those with a pure heart would see God, and the Apostle Paul told us that the peace of Christ would guard our hearts. If I could experience as much distress in feeling lost from God as I did from that old "Sgt. Pepper" album Then I would discover what Jesus called the "Treasure in heaven."

Also, as a human, if I feel such emotional loss over something that is somewhat insignificant, but nevertheless of personal value, how much more must God mourn the rejection of His created children?