Yet I live, no longer I....

St. Cyril of Jerusalem

BISHOP OF JERUSALEM

"For we, the ministers of Christ, 

have admitted every one, 

and occupying, as it were, 

the place of door-keepers 

we left the door open: 

and possibly thou entered 

with your soul bemired with sins, 

and with a will defiled. 

You entered, and were allowed: 

your name was inscribed. 

Tell me, 

do you behold this venerable constitution 

of the Church? 

Do you view her order and discipline, 

the reading of Scriptures, 

the presence of the ordained, 

the course of instruction? 

Be abashed at the place, 

and be taught by what you see. 

Go out opportunely now, 

and enter most opportunely tomorrow."

- St. Cyril of Jerusalem 

This morning at Mass, I was unexpectedly moved.

THE GENTLE VOICE

The service of Divine Liturgy, or Mass, has been criticized by so many former “cradle” Catholics as being “boring and repetitious.” In my earlier days I saw the practice as irrelevant and meaningless. But comments like this surely come from a heart that has been deafened by louder and more demanding voices - I know, because my heart has been deaf so many times when the “Gentle Voice of the Spirit” was talking to me. But today was different...

The Mass readings were beautifully woven around the theme of forgiveness and God’s unbelievable gift of grace and mercy through Christ. I took this gift for granted - it is so easy to do...the message, though powerful, can become too familiar.

But, this morning, for some reason, I listened, watched and participated with a renewed enthusiasm.

THE PRESENCE OF ETERNITY

The communion hymn was “Make of Our Hands a Throne.” 

I’m sure that I’ve heard it many times before and I’m sure that I’ve half-heartedly sung it, or mumbled through it. As an Evangelical, I used to feel very uncomfortable during the worship songs - often not able to adopt the words or sentiments as my true feelings at the moment. I thought that this wouldn’t change after my conversion - but today it was different...the words hit a tender spot and I felt the emotions welling up inside.

“Make of our hands a throne 

to hold the bread of heaven, 

Make of our hearts a home 

to hold the very wine of life, 

In this mystery, 

Lord, make us one with you.”

- “Make of Our Hands a Throne," Steven Warner

Adding to the strong emotions that were stirred by this song was an overwhelming awareness of the timelessness of this ceremony called “The Eucharist.” There was a sense of being present in eternity.

Beneath the song - in small print italics were the words:

"Refrain based on "Mystagogical Catechesis, No. 23, vs. 21” of St. Cyril of Jerusalem (b.315 - d.circa 386)”

When I got home I “Googled”: 'Mystagogical Catechesis’, and found this:

(No. 23, verses 20-23)

"………After this ye hear the chanter inviting you with a sacred melody to the communion of the Holy Mysteries, and saying, O taste and see that the Lord is good. Trust not the judgment to your bodily palate no, but to faith unfaltering; for they who taste are bidden to taste, not bread and wine, but the anti-typical Body and Blood of Christ.

In approaching therefore, come not with your wrists extended, or your fingers spread; but make your left hand a throne for the right, as for that which is to receive a King. And having hollowed your palm, receive the Body of Christ, saying over it, Amen. So then after having carefully hallowed your eyes by the touch of the Holy Body, partake of it; giving heed lest you lose any portion thereof ; for whatever you lose, is evidently a loss to you as it were from one of your own members. For tell me, if any one gave you grains of gold, would you not hold them with all carefulness, being on your guard against losing any of them, and suffering loss? Will you not then much more carefully keep watch, that not a crumb fall from you of what is more precious than gold and precious stones?

Then after you have partaken of the Body of Christ, draw near also to the Cup of His Blood; not stretching forth your hands, but bending , and saying with an air of worship and reverence, Amen , hallow yourself by partaking also of the Blood of Christ. And while the moisture is still upon your lips, touch it with your hands, and hallow your eyes and brow and the other organs of sense. Then wait for the prayer, and give thanks unto God, who has accounted you worthy of so great mysteries.

Hold fast these traditions undefiled and, keep yourselves free from offense. Sever not yourselves from the Communion; deprive not yourselves, through the pollution of sins, of these Holy and Spiritual Mysteries. And the God of peace sanctify you wholly; and may your spirit, and soul, and body be preserved entire without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. To whom be glory and honour and might, with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and world without end. Amen.”

-  St. Cyril of Jerusalem,  4th Century

Source. Translated by Edwin Hamilton Gifford. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Vol. 7. Edited by Philip Schaff and Henry Wace. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1894.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. .

I really was experiencing and participating in the Order of Service; the very Mass, that the Church Fathers had preserved as a tradition over the centuries; some with their very lives.....it took my breath away and I found myself weeping and hanging on to the deepest meaning of the Apostle Paul’s words from the second reading....that through participation in this Eucharist....

"I have been crucified with Christ;

yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me;”

- Galatians 2:20