"The mind says 'to get rid of this feeling of incompleteness, I must find answers.'
And so can you see how this actually maintains the feeling of incompleteness?
And so can you see how this actually maintains the feeling of incompleteness?
In reality, there is no incompleteness there, that's just a story, a belief. And really the incompleteness is your search for answers! Can you hear this?"
- Jeff Foster, Life Without A Centre, p.87
IN THE SHADOW OF DOUBT
I used to be a straightforward, if not traditional, "believer."
God was outside the world - as the primary Cause and Sustainer of everything. I used my "faith" to make intercession through prayer for people and things that I cared about. I prayed for change in myself and circumstances, and I really believed that God heard and interceded. I thought that my prayers really made a difference. In certain cases, prayers did work - they worked on me to change my thinking.
Believers do not acknowledge that they live in the shadow of doubt. They place their trust in a set of rules or "agreed-upon" understandings that others have passed onto them through traditions and the recorded memories of an ancient people.
But I am no longer a believer because "belief" is to deny the obvious nature of reality. Reality does not agree to pre-defined interpretations - reality is just things as they are.
Beliefs limit the changeable nature of real life. Beliefs do not determine the truth - they merely describe our preferred interpretation of reality.
THE SENSE OF SEPARATION
Religions are one of the solutions that man has devised to address the symptoms of a deeply felt sense of separation that we feel within ourselves. Other solutions are not so obvious; involving obsessions that do not seem so "healthy." Alcoholism, Workaholism, Drugs, Sex, Gambling, and other actions that seek to totally absorb our sense of "self." All are attempts to end this unrelenting awareness of being incomplete.
Religion drives the believer to seek salvation, or liberation. In this liberation is seen future fulfillment, so begins the earnest drive to attain that which will fulfill. In this "path to the truth," the believer finds temporary relief from suffering by momentary acts of surrender, found through periods of deep meditative prayer or contemplation - but still the persistent sense of lack continues.
Some of us went deeper into the search - believing that it was a matter of finding the "Right" religion or, by practicing our chosen religion in a more "Orthodox" or diligent way. But, ultimately, this led to a deeper awareness of the apparent separation. We read this as a sign of spiritual progress - we thought we had become more aware of the spiritual divide between man and God. More self-denial and self-sacrifice was necessary. The sense of lack grew as the path became steeper....... it seemed like an endless journey or one that could not be fulfilled in this lifetime. We did not lose hope at this, because religion had an answer for this apparent deepening longing for wholeness; we are on a spiritual journey to an eternal life beyond this one - where there is closeness to God, eternal fulfillment. A fulfilled destiny is the promised hope of religion.
THE GREAT (SURPRISE) AWAKENING
Some of us - perhaps as a result of the futility of our earnest search and perhaps by a pure act of grace (an event with no purpose) - became aware of the perfectly obvious.
The sense of separation is not fulfilled by spiritual seeking - it is fueled by it!!!
Our mind tells us that we are on a journey through time - but if we really look deeply into this without judgement, we can see that it is an illusion that we have created and maintain. Our egoic-mind filters the information that it receives through our senses and uses this distorted view as a means of self-preservation.
BUT WHAT ABOUT GOD, THE BIBLE, AND EVERYTHING?
"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
His seeking of fulfillment elsewhere turned into the experience of greater lack – he did not find what he was looking for – only more dissatisfaction.
"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
“he came to his senses” – in other words, he became aware of reality and accepted that happiness was not elsewhere – the fulfillment that he sought was where he had started. What he sought was what he already had, in the presence of the Father.
Religion focuses on the journey of repentance – the path of earning back, or restoring the Father’s approval. However, consider the significance of the last few well-chosen words of this passage:
"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off…..
In other words, the father had no expectations of behavior on the part of the prodigal son, … his return home was enough.
"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
Once again, the son tries to repent of his behavior – and again the Father’s UNCONDITIONAL love is revealed:
"... But the father said....
"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "
This last passage reveals the paradoxical truth of nondual reality – we are never separated from love, the source of our lives – everything we have is already here. The fulfillment of our seeking is in the realization that what we seek is already the case. It is the very act of seeking for it that causes the dissatisfaction! The prodigal son was lost only in his own delusion – the end of his seeking was his finding. Like the older son, our first reaction when we discover our true nature may be anger, or frustration - because it seems so unfair when we have been so diligent in our seeking - but our discovery should be a reason for celebration.
The sense of separation is not fulfilled by spiritual seeking - it is fueled by it!!!
Our mind tells us that we are on a journey through time - but if we really look deeply into this without judgement, we can see that it is an illusion that we have created and maintain. Our egoic-mind filters the information that it receives through our senses and uses this distorted view as a means of self-preservation.
- - The whole universe appears to be on a journey to completeness:
- - Planets revolve, as if they are wheels moving toward a destination.
- - Gravity pulls and holds as if to fulfill a purpose.
- - Flowers stretch upward toward the sunlight - as if they are trying to get closer.
- - Life appears to evolve to higher forms of itself
BUT WHAT ABOUT GOD, THE BIBLE, AND EVERYTHING?
The religious books are full of pointers to nondual reality. For example, let's look at "The Parable of the Lost Son," one of the most beloved stories from the New Testament found in St. Luke 15:11-32 - the words in italics are my commentary.
"There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.
The parable does not share the background motive for the younger son’s demands – could it be the drive for fulfillment, or happiness – that he thought was elsewhere?
"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.
His seeking of fulfillment elsewhere turned into the experience of greater lack – he did not find what he was looking for – only more dissatisfaction.
"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.
“he came to his senses” – in other words, he became aware of reality and accepted that happiness was not elsewhere – the fulfillment that he sought was where he had started. What he sought was what he already had, in the presence of the Father.
Religion focuses on the journey of repentance – the path of earning back, or restoring the Father’s approval. However, consider the significance of the last few well-chosen words of this passage:
"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.
"But while he was still a long way off…..
In other words, the father had no expectations of behavior on the part of the prodigal son, … his return home was enough.
"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.
Once again, the son tries to repent of his behavior – and again the Father’s UNCONDITIONAL love is revealed:
"... But the father said....
"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'
"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "
This last passage reveals the paradoxical truth of nondual reality – we are never separated from love, the source of our lives – everything we have is already here. The fulfillment of our seeking is in the realization that what we seek is already the case. It is the very act of seeking for it that causes the dissatisfaction! The prodigal son was lost only in his own delusion – the end of his seeking was his finding. Like the older son, our first reaction when we discover our true nature may be anger, or frustration - because it seems so unfair when we have been so diligent in our seeking - but our discovery should be a reason for celebration.
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