When the session was over - I sensed a spirit of camaraderie among all the other attendees, together with Jeff, in the frustration of a consciousness that prevails in trying to balance the irreconcilable paradox of sensing how simple everything is, in practical reality, with how hard it is, in day to day terms, to accept things as they are and to enjoy the natural state of present consciousness, without this constant nagging "pain" or anxiety that drives us to seek to know more. To "attain enlightenment."
In my opinion, the issue of understanding, and/or "attaining" enlightenment seems to come down to two possible alternatives.
- You can keep asking questions and conducting deep research until you find satisfactory answers to all the questions about the meaning and purpose of life. - or -
- You can stop asking questions and accept things as they are.
OPTION ONE - THE ENDLESS PATHS
For most of my adult life, as a result of what I would call a "glimpse" of reality - a spiritual experience, some would call it - I have passionately pursued the first option. Diving deeply into the teachings of all the various world religions - looking for the practical evidence of truth - that I could appropriate and use to transform myself into a fully-enlightened person, so that I could live a fulfilling, meaningful existence in full conformity with that reality.
I have spent more than 30 years on that path - and I openly admit, candidly, that my experiences have revealed to me that all of the various religions of the world, although all proclaiming to have the One, Universal Truth that answers all of the deep questions, fall significantly short in confirming what I know from experience. Admittedly, each of the religions has done a fine job of developing explanations for the way things are - but none of them has done this in a manner that does not have some political or filial alternative agenda that strives to separate the outsiders from the insiders by some sort of non-verifiable "belief." As if reality is determined by what we believe about it - and not vice-versa.
All in all, I've seen religion as basically the proclamation of the observed interactions between the founder, or originator of the "teachings," and the disciples or followers and outsiders at a particular point in time. It is fairly obvious from the scriptures or traditions that remain, that very few, if any, of the narrators, or witnesses of the actual event thoroughly understood their leader. For examples of this, you need only look at the recorded words of Jesus, or the Buddha, in context, and observe the confusion among the hearers about what was actually being communicated. The reported words of Allah's angelic messenger to Muhammad also provide little verifiable information about the nature of reality, and in fact, the Sufi approach to Islam is geared toward the mystical nature of reality - focusing more on the questions that the Qur'an raises, than the details of the revelation itself, which deals more with vertical attitudes toward God and horizontal behavior between humans, than with the definitive answers to eternal questions.
The belief that there is one truth that conforms to reality, and the drive to find it, seems to be genetic in some of us - and in some ways, at least personally, it resembles a kind of compulsive syndrome or brain disorder, like an itch or mental "tick" that cannot be suppressed without great difficulty!!!
OPTION TWO - THE PATHLESS ENDS
So, hesitatingly, thanks to speakers (I won't say teachers, despite the temptation) like Jeff Foster, Scott Kiloby, Tony Parsons, Ramesh Balsekar, Randall Friend, Nathan Gill, John Greven, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Alan Watts and many others, who have written, spoken, and generally debated the idea of nondual reality very effectively within the confines of naturally dualistic language, I am decidedly persuaded to attempt the second approach to gaining, or experiencing enlightenment; learning to accept reality just as it is.
WHERE DO I GO FROM NOT-HERE?
The precursor to realization of non-dual reality is to grasp the concept that gaining enlightenment is in fact an illusion of the mind. To become fully aware of the Oneness of all things it is vital to hold on to a core belief (until it becomes a verifiable personal experience) that we cannot change our consciousness from the outside. We can only let go of self-imposed mental boundaries that we have unwittingly agreed to maintain as a means of protection from the irrational fear of self-oblivion that our ego, as a protector of individual personality, has created. People who have drug-induced experiences of Oneness often refer to this as an "expansion of consciousness" - but, I think, that actually it is a reduction or breakdown of this ego-centered barrier, so that the mind is free to see beyond itself. Many contemporary seers and mystics, like Ram Dass and Alan Watts, who've experienced both the drug-induced and natural experience of Oneness, say that the former is a "glimpse" of the latter, beneficial and sustainable state of mind.
LEARNING TO LET GO
So, from this point on - this blog will take a new direction - as I attempt to express in words, the indescribable experience of approaching nondual reality from a personal perspective.
Now you may ask - dear reader - why this should matter to you?
Good question.
Perhaps it shouldn't and it's with that approach that I undertake this "experiment."
However, I think, based on the feedback from some of my fellow listeners on yesterday's seminar, there are a lot of people who are struggling with getting to a place of consciousness that is already present. Like me, there are many who understand the theory of Advaita, or nondualism, but who cannot conceive of any way to experience it. Another way of saying that, perhaps in more nondualist terms: like me, they understand the logical possibility of nondual reality but they desire to experience the consciousness that arises from the dropping of the persistent illusory sense of an existing individual self, separate from every other thing in the universe.
Here's what Jeff Foster says, very profoundly, about nonduality:
"The message of nonduality is simple:
nothing is separate from anything else.
But apparent separation is at the root of everything the individual does;
indeed, the individual is nothing but apparent separation,
and that separation drives the entire spiritual search
and the quest for the dissolution of the ego,
as well as all worldly pursuits.
But the seeking mind (that is, "you", the individual) will never be able to grasp this message,
as, to the mind, this message is nothing but its own dissolution, that is, its own death.
Yes, this message is death, but it is also life. All life is here, all life is now......."
- Jeff Foster, The Message of Nonduality, Beyond Awakening, p. 28
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