Launch out into the deep....

St. Luke 5: 4-8

"He said unto Simon, "Launch out into the deep, and let down your nets for a draft." And Simon answering said unto Him, "Master, we have toiled all the night and have taken nothing. Nevertheless, at Thy word I will let down the net." And when they had done this, they enclosed a great multitude of fishes, and their net began to break. And they beckoned unto their partners, who were in the other boat, that they should come and help them. And they came and filled both the boats, so that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus' knees, saying, "Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.'"

This week has been a week of "wrestling with the mysteries." I have been in a spiritual fight this week. I have been struck with doubts and personal frustration with the complexity of the Eastern Orthodox church. Sometimes the rituals and the focus on outward appearances of faith seem pointless and I can't help but think that it's just another form of Phariseeism.

These thoughts and feelings have struck me before at other times on my spiritual journey and I have interpreted them as "leadings," but this time I decided to look upon them negatively and pray about my doubts. So before the Divine Liturgy service at church this morning I lit candles and prayed before the Icons of Christ and the Theotokos Mary for guidance.

Less than 2o minutes later, Father Steven read from St. Luke Chapter 5:1-11, the gospel reading for the day , and it struck me that as I applied the passage to my doubts it revealed the answer to my prayer.

In the passage, (see above), Jesus, after speaking from Peter's boat tells him to cast his net out into the deep. Peter's responds that he has already spent a long time looking for results and achieved nothing. But because Jesus had demonstrated wisdom and authority, Peter concedes saying: "Nevertheless, at Thy word I will let down the net."

What this passage means to me is that although I have spent most of my life looking for the truth and have so often come up short, it's time for me to take Jesus at His word and let down my net where He tells me - He has lead me to Orthodoxy and there's where I should cast my net, or place my focus. As I trust Him, as Peter did, I will achieve overwhelming results in every way.

Thank you Lord for teaching me through Your word.