Here Is Reality

The Last Public Post (see my new blog link below)

2010-08-05T15:33:00.000-04:00

After 5 years of ranting, raving, doubting, sharing convictions, recanting and recovering - I’ve decided to make this blog inactive.

For those who might be interested in staying up-to-date with what I’m struggling with, or what I’m aligned with; please join me at my NEW Wordpress Blog (As of July 30th, 2010)

Here’s the link - it’s called Pilgrim Wonderings.

Save it to your favorites/bookmarks if you like - or delete it, I won’t mind, really!!!

I hope you’ve enjoyed my journey to this point. It continues..........

A Model Argument

2010-07-08T22:06:00.001-04:00

Richard Dawkins interviews/debates the Bishop of Oxford

I found this on You-Tube - a wonderful modeling of how Christians and Atheists can get along through civil debate over issues that they appear to disagree on - listen to the warmth and respect that two supposedly opposed express for each other in this interview between one of the world’s most famous “Atheists” - Richard Dawkins and, the opposing view of Anglican Christian Bishop Harries of Oxford.

The two “gentlemen” discuss the fundamentalist view of Creationism, and the pro’s and con’s of Euthanasia.

It’s a fairly long clip, about 10 minutes, and only Part One of the entire interview - but I posted it because I believe it models such a wonderful dialogue - where both Richard Dawkins and Bishop Harries express their viewpoints in logical and compassionate ways that inspire understanding rather than incite anger.

Most surprising to his many critics is the very gentle and persuasive way of Richard Dawkins - I find him to be quite the opposite of the stereotype of so many, so-called “Atheists.” He does not ridicule or make wild statements - but demonstrates thoughtfulness and listens completely to the viewpoint of Bishop Harries - they appear to be friends.

Isn’t this how it is supposed to be between believers and non-believers? Having been on both sides of the “argument” - I find this to be very inspiring.

Patriotism of a Different Kind

2010-07-02T19:52:00.000-04:00

This weekend the U.S.A. celebrates Independence Day - and a lot of people turn their thoughts to patriotism and national pride. Ironically, I think of Independence Day as the commemoration of a kind of breaking away from unhealthy nationalism - by becoming Patriots of a different kind.

Here’s a blog post from the past that I’ve revived and updated for this occasion.

Oswald Chambers (1874-1917) was a Scottish minister and teacher whose teachings on the life of faith and abandonment to God have endured to this day.

"The first thing that happens after we have realized our election to God in Christ Jesus is the destruction of our prejudices and our parochial notions and our patriotisms; we are turned into servants of God's own purpose. The whole human race was created to glorify God and enjoy Him for ever. Sin has switched the human race on to another tack, but it has not altered God's purpose in the tiniest degree; and when we are born again we are brought into the realization of God's great purpose for the human race, viz., I am created for God, He made me. This realization of the election of God is the most joyful realization on earth, and we have to learn to rely on the tremendous creative purpose of God. The first thing God will do with us is to "force through the channels of a single heart" the interests of the whole world.

The love of God, the very nature of God, is introduced into us, and the nature of Almighty God is focused in John 3:16 - 'God so loved the world. . .'"

- Oswald Chambers - "My Utmost for His Highest"

When Oswald Chambers composed those words he was living at a time when the British Empire was an awesome force in the world. So, I'm thinking that perhaps his words might have caused quite a stir among his peers because to speak in terms of a greater humanity above the values of Queen and country was viewed as revolutionary. In some ways his words, if you consider them carefully, may be just as controversial these days in the 21st century United States.

According to a large majority of Americans, to be Christian is to be a national patriot - they see no distinction between believing in Christ and believing in the constitutional republic. However, like Oswald Chambers, and his Master, the Lord Jesus Christ, I see things very differently.

John 3:16 begins "God so loved the world....." Therefore, as Christians, we should have the same kind of love that the Lord demonstrated - a love for the whole world. The Apostle Peter wrote: "fear God, honor the king." (1 Peter 2:18). By not linking the two together he purposefully placed them on two different levels - one of reverence and one of compliance.

Christians are to:

Worship God
Respect the government
Love God and
Love the whole world, as Jesus did, regardless of how the world might regard us. This doesn’t mean that we have to like what the rest of the world is doing - but it does mean we should try to love it.

When Jesus said “Love your enemies” - he didn’t mention making them our friends first. We are to love them while they are STILL our enemies - just as Jesus did.

Christian patriotism is to be world embracing, at the level of humanity - not at the level of a particular government or ethnic philosophy.

So, when it was proposed that the words "under God" be taken out of the pledge of allegiance - I didn't see it as a negative - I just see it as being honest.

ONE NATION

We are not "one nation under God,"we are "one nation with liberty for all.”

That's the part that I like.

Being one nation with liberty demonstates the true freedom that God intended when he gave us free will

- Only Christians can truly claim to be "one nation under God” as citizens of a different kind of community - and so it is.

Through Christ we are to be a new creation, a new generation of people that live in the world but are not of it - we are called to be "ambassadors" of the Kingdom of God on earth - our patriotism is to the Kingdom of God that unites everyone into their true humanity as God's children.

The separation of church and state is a good thing - but it should work both ways.

Christians should not expect special treatment from the government and
The government should not expect Christians to always agree with them.
The Ten Commandments should not be displayed in government buildings - and
National flags should not be displayed in churches.

According to the Nicene Creed, the church is universal (catholic). This means that it is not based on a nationality or exclusive ethnic group. I really feel that if there is a universal church it has to start acting that way right in our neighborhoods.

God bless America, and the whole world!

A Genuine Reproduction

2010-06-20T11:22:00.053-04:00

"Then God said,

“Let the earth bring forth the living creature

according to its kind:

cattle and creeping thing and beast of the earth,

each according to its kind”;

and it was so."

- Genesis 1:24

In the story of our beginning; God ordered life to reproduce after its own kind. In John's Gospel, Jesus, the source of Life came to offer the right to reproduce after His kind.

In the Theology of the Eastern Church this is called: "Theosis."

"The Son of God became man, that we might become god"

- St. Athanasius of Alexandria

Fr. Stephen Freeman, "Glory To God" blog

Much of the theology of "Theosis" has been forgotten in the west, or been distorted to say the very least - but it is ultimately the defining truth of Christianity - and transforms Christianity from "just another religion" that attempts to interpret reality - into the broadest definition of reality itself. We are not creatures at the mercy of a distant God - but children separated from our source by our own choice.

COPY OR ORIGINAL?

I have spent quite a bit of time comparing the version of Christianity that is popular today, with the version that the early Church Fathers preserved as handed down from the original Apostles.

What I have found is that the current, shall we say "Contemporary" Christianity is more of a cult of the individual. The Church is still given a place in the scheme of practice - but it is limited to a physical building at a particular place. It is not seen as the physical gathering place of those who ARE the Church. Where the community of faith gathers to join in on the worship and fellowship that is CONSTANTLY going on in the Eternal Reality that is called "Heaven," but exists outside of time and space in the eternal now that is our real home in full union with the Source of all life.

The Church Fathers taught that communion with Christ was not a personal experience, but rather an experience of being one with all. Not in the sense of a kind of "Sea of Consciousness" - but rather being one as all bodies of water are one with their source. The Church is not a gathering place for individuals, but a state of being where individuals find their true identity beyond the past and future, in the eternal Now that is God's dwelling place.

Someone wisely said: "You have no self outside of the past or future." As I sat with that thought I realized that I could find no bearings of my self without referring to a memory from the past, or by projecting a vision of myself in the future. In the present moment I cease to exist as an individual. This is the true reality - the place where God is. Not a place where I can stay right now - but a place that I can perceive as existing - such is faith.

I am not my thoughts of the past, or my hopes for the future - it is a wonderful realization. God has given all of us an invitation to be with Him now and forever in this eternal Now.

Glory to God.

I will write more on this - stay tuned if you're interested.

Yet I live, no longer I....

2010-06-13T15:18:00.000-04:00

St. Cyril of Jerusalem

BISHOP OF JERUSALEM

"For we, the ministers of Christ,

have admitted every one,

and occupying, as it were,

the place of door-keepers

we left the door open:

and possibly thou entered

with your soul bemired with sins,

and with a will defiled.

You entered, and were allowed:

your name was inscribed.

Tell me,

do you behold this venerable constitution

of the Church?

Do you view her order and discipline,

the reading of Scriptures,

the presence of the ordained,

the course of instruction?

Be abashed at the place,

and be taught by what you see.

Go out opportunely now,

and enter most opportunely tomorrow."

- St. Cyril of Jerusalem

This morning at Mass, I was unexpectedly moved.

THE GENTLE VOICE

The service of Divine Liturgy, or Mass, has been criticized by so many former “cradle” Catholics as being “boring and repetitious.” In my earlier days I saw the practice as irrelevant and meaningless. But comments like this surely come from a heart that has been deafened by louder and more demanding voices - I know, because my heart has been deaf so many times when the “Gentle Voice of the Spirit” was talking to me. But today was different...

The Mass readings were beautifully woven around the theme of forgiveness and God’s unbelievable gift of grace and mercy through Christ. I took this gift for granted - it is so easy to do...the message, though powerful, can become too familiar.

But, this morning, for some reason, I listened, watched and participated with a renewed enthusiasm.

THE PRESENCE OF ETERNITY

The communion hymn was “Make of Our Hands a Throne.”

I’m sure that I’ve heard it many times before and I’m sure that I’ve half-heartedly sung it, or mumbled through it. As an Evangelical, I used to feel very uncomfortable during the worship songs - often not able to adopt the words or sentiments as my true feelings at the moment. I thought that this wouldn’t change after my conversion - but today it was different...the words hit a tender spot and I felt the emotions welling up inside.

“Make of our hands a throne
to hold the bread of heaven,

Make of our hearts a home
to hold the very wine of life,

In this mystery,
Lord, make us one with you.”

- “Make of Our Hands a Throne," Steven Warner

Adding to the strong emotions that were stirred by this song was an overwhelming awareness of the timelessness of this ceremony called “The Eucharist.” There was a sense of being present in eternity.

Beneath the song - in small print italics were the words:

"Refrain based on "Mystagogical Catechesis, No. 23, vs. 21” of St. Cyril of Jerusalem (b.315 - d.circa 386)”

When I got home I “Googled”: 'Mystagogical Catechesis’, and found this:

(No. 23, verses 20-23)

"………After this ye hear the chanter inviting you with a sacred melody to the communion of the Holy Mysteries, and saying, O taste and see that the Lord is good. Trust not the judgment to your bodily palate no, but to faith unfaltering; for they who taste are bidden to taste, not bread and wine, but the anti-typical Body and Blood of Christ.

In approaching therefore, come not with your wrists extended, or your fingers spread; but make your left hand a throne for the right, as for that which is to receive a King. And having hollowed your palm, receive the Body of Christ, saying over it, Amen. So then after having carefully hallowed your eyes by the touch of the Holy Body, partake of it; giving heed lest you lose any portion thereof ; for whatever you lose, is evidently a loss to you as it were from one of your own members. For tell me, if any one gave you grains of gold, would you not hold them with all carefulness, being on your guard against losing any of them, and suffering loss? Will you not then much more carefully keep watch, that not a crumb fall from you of what is more precious than gold and precious stones?

Then after you have partaken of the Body of Christ, draw near also to the Cup of His Blood; not stretching forth your hands, but bending , and saying with an air of worship and reverence, Amen , hallow yourself by partaking also of the Blood of Christ. And while the moisture is still upon your lips, touch it with your hands, and hallow your eyes and brow and the other organs of sense. Then wait for the prayer, and give thanks unto God, who has accounted you worthy of so great mysteries.

Hold fast these traditions undefiled and, keep yourselves free from offense. Sever not yourselves from the Communion; deprive not yourselves, through the pollution of sins, of these Holy and Spiritual Mysteries. And the God of peace sanctify you wholly; and may your spirit, and soul, and body be preserved entire without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. To whom be glory and honour and might, with the Father and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and world without end. Amen.”

- St. Cyril of Jerusalem, 4th Century

Source. Translated by Edwin Hamilton Gifford. From Nicene and Post-Nicene Fathers, Second Series, Vol. 7. Edited by Philip Schaff and Henry Wace. (Buffalo, NY: Christian Literature Publishing Co., 1894.) Revised and edited for New Advent by Kevin Knight. .

I really was experiencing and participating in the Order of Service; the very Mass, that the Church Fathers had preserved as a tradition over the centuries; some with their very lives.....it took my breath away and I found myself weeping and hanging on to the deepest meaning of the Apostle Paul’s words from the second reading....that through participation in this Eucharist....

"I have been crucified with Christ;

yet I live, no longer I, but Christ lives in me;”

- Galatians 2:20

The Heart of the Shepherd

2010-06-11T10:27:00.001-04:00

"The essential nucleus of Christianity is expressed in the Heart of Jesus: in Christ the whole of the revolutionary newness of the Gospel was revealed and given to us: the Love that saves us and already makes us live in God's eternity. Even our shortcomings, our limitations, and our weaknesses must lead us back to the Heart of Jesus. His divine Heart calls to our hearts, inviting us to come out of ourselves, to abandon our human certainties to trust in him and, following his example, to make of ourselves a gift of love without reserve."

- Pope Benedict XVI

On the Solemnity of the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus

THE GOOD SHEPHERD

"The Lord God says this:

I am going to look after my flock myself

and keep all of it in view.

As a shepherd keeps all his flock in view

when he stands up in the middle of his scattered sheep,

so shall I keep my sheep in view.

I shall rescue them

from wherever they have been scattered

during the mist

and darkness.

I shall bring them out of the countries where they are;

I shall gather them together from foreign countries

and bring them back to their own land.

I shall pasture them on the mountains of Israel,

in the ravines and in every inhabited place in the land.

I shall feed them in good pasturage;

the high mountains of Israel will be their grazing ground.

There they will rest in good grazing ground;

they will browse in rich pastures on the mountains of Israel.

I myself will pasture my sheep,

I myself

will show them where to rest

–it is the Lord who speaks.

I shall look for the lost one,

bring back the stray,

bandage the wounded

and make the weak strong.

I shall watch over the fat and healthy.

I shall be a true shepherd to them.

- Ezekiel 34:11-16
(Jerusalem Bible)

From Tourist to Pilgrim

2010-06-10T23:59:00.002-04:00

St. Patrick’s Cathedral - New York City, NY

"Where is the line between a tour and a pilgrimage?
Am I a tourist or a pilgrim?”

- Thomas Howard, "On Being Catholic,” p.169

It started as a vacation; a long weekend in New York City.

A time for us to share some quality family fun-time. Some theatre, a walk through Central Park, some great food at restaurants like Chez Josephine, a visit to the Museum of Modern Art, to see the fabulous Henri Cartier-Bresson Exhibit and, of course, SHOPPING!!!

But, it became so much more.....

ONE MORNING IN MAY

I love mornings in New York City!

I got up early and went for a walk down 5th Avenue, on a hunt for the nearest Starbucks, (which is usually within a couple of hundred yards of everywhere in NYC!) My wife and daughter meanwhile, enjoyed some “girlie” time together back at the hotel.

It wasn’t long before I saw it - St. Patrick’s Cathedral, a beautiful oasis in the middle of the towering steel and glass of Gotham.

Lots of tourists visit St. Pat’s - and I entered the huge archway entrance as just another one of them, perhaps like many of them, I was also a “lapsed” or “Former Catholic.”

Mass was going on, even while the tourists hustled and bustled around the perimeter of the sanctuary in a loud hush. You’d think it would be disruptive - but in St. Pat’s there is a presence that overwhelms all, and seems to silence the seemingly perpetual sirens and traffic noise that go on all around.

Some words from the Gospel reading for the day struck me:

"Jesus said to his disciples:

'As the Father loves me, so I also love you.

Remain in my love.

If you keep my commandments, you will remain in my love,

just as I have kept my Father’s commandments

and remain in his love.’”

- St. John 15:9-10

"Remain in my love....Remain in HIS love”

When I converted to Orthodoxy back in 2006 - I had made a vow, in earnest:

"This true faith of the Holy Orthodox Church, which I now voluntarily confess and truly hold, I will firmly maintain and confess, whole and in its fullness and integrity, until my last breath, God being my helper. I will teach it and proclaim it, so far as lies within me. I will strive to fulfill its obligations with zeal and joy, preserving my heart in purity and virtue. In witness of this, my true and pure-hearted confession, I now kiss the Word and Cross of my Savior, Amen.”

I had not remained in his love. I had betrayed myself and God by my lack of commitment and resolve.

BRAND NEW - OUT OF THE BOX

After Mass was over - I stepped into line at the old-fashioned confessional and made a heart-felt confession to an anonymous Priest behind the screen. Perhaps the most meaningful confession of my life....

I poured out my doubts about God, admitted my deepest atheistic thoughts, declared my utter disgust with the actions and crimes of those who called themselves Fathers in the Catholic Church, and I confessed the blasphemies that I had hurled against the one who loved me....

I stepped out of the Confessional as a renewed man....I had entered the Cathedral as a tourist and left as a pilgrim.

The rest of the vacation was more than I’d hoped for...it couldn’t have been better.

THE PRODIGAL RETURNS

When I returned home I attended Mass at St. Columban, where I had first been received into full communion with the Catholic faith. I hadn’t entered the doors in almost two years. But when Fr. Larry saw me - he gave me the biggest hug - no judgement, no condemnation, or even uncomfortable questions, .... instead he offered a friendly embrace. I felt like the lost son in the Parable, returning to the waiting arms of the loving father. Truly poignant for me.

I was home at last.....again.

Practical Catholic

2010-06-04T19:02:00.001-04:00

I think I've always been destined to be Catholic. Not necessarily a consistently good one - but most certainly what author James Carroll calls a "Practical Catholic."

I believe that I believe in the Nicene Creed, and I try to believe consistently in the authority of the Church and its Saints, Angels, and of course, the Blessed Virgin Mary. But, I am in good company with St. Thomas the Apostle as I wrestle with doubts. But I trust Jesus with my life and eternity - and in that I have no doubt

The Catholic Church is not perfect in practice - but it is a masterpiece of magisterial design and it has done a supernatural job, despite itself, of maintaining the integrity of its original processes and purpose.

THE DEEP CALL OF THE HEART

Since early May of this year I have felt the "call" deep within to return to the faith that I had vehemently and vocally rejected a few times in the past. I can offer no real rational explanation for my changes of heart - I could blame it on demonic influence - but that is no different than saying that I don't really know what drew me away so strongly - it is a mystery of doubt. In the same way, my return is a mystery of faith. If it is possible that my turning away was demonically motivated, then I cling willingly to the possibility that my return to Catholicism is the work of intervening angels.

ARMS WIDER OPEN

In this return there is a difference in the embrace. I do not cling blindly to the Catechism, nor do I disregard the "inner voice" that sometimes contradicts the sometimes theoretical dogmatic scenarios, in favor of what I sense is a more compassionate view of the reality of things. I have a bigger heart this time - and do not hypocritically whisper curses of damnation against those that reject that which I formerly denied myself, but now embrace as ultimate truth.

This time I have greater faith that God is better at love than we in the Church are at interpreting theology.

Attending Mass at St. Columban last weekend was a reunion of my doubting mind with my grieving heart.

HOLDING ON TO THE VOWS

A relationship with Jesus Christ, through his bride the Church, is more like a marriage than a contracted, conditional partnership. The Bride can fall short of being worthy, in the earthly sense, of her children or husband's love because of her behavior - but the strong love of the divine bridegroom, (Christ) is truly unconditional and goes much deeper and far beyond the worst sins. The children love and obey their Father, the Bridegroom, and see in their mother the love for them that is reflected from the father - a love of commitment beyond fickle emotion. So, I have decided to stand firm in my commitment made in earnest a few years ago - to honor Christ in and through his Holy Catholic Church.

IT'S STILL ME

Behind all this rhetoric stands the cynical sinner that has always been me. I know I will struggle with my commitments and I'm sure I'll offer both fair and unfair criticism of those who stand with me in Church, but stand against me in word, and/or spirit from time to time - but such is the matter of conscience and confession - which will no doubt help me to stretch my faith in these times.

I am committing to live by and through the power of the gift of grace - which can only be given on the terms of the giver - who is the Lord of all.

Please hold on until this ride stops moving.

GLORY BE TO THE FATHER, AND TO THE SON, AND TO THE HOLY SPIRIT. AS IT WAS IN THE BEGINNING, IS NOW AND EVER SHALL BE.

AMEN

Back Home...again!!

2010-05-19T13:08:00.004-04:00

"I am the woman at the well,
I am the harlot

I am the scattered seed that fell
along the path

I am the son that ran away
And I am the bitter son that stayed

My God, my God
why hast though accepted me
When all my love
was vinegar to a thirsty King?

My God, my God
why hast though accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song,
the song I sing

I am the angry man
who came to stone the lover

I am the woman
there ashamed before the crowd

I am the leper that gave thanks
But I am the nine that never came

My God, my God
why hast though accepted me
When all my love
was vinegar to a thirsty King?

My God, my God
why hast though accepted me
It's a mystery of mercy and the song,
the song I sing

You made the seed that made the tree
That made the cross that saved me
You gave me hope when there was none
You gave me your only Son

My God, Lord you are
My God, my God, Lord you are"

- "Mystery of Mercy" by Caedmon's Call

On May 10th, 2010 - I wrote this in my personal journal:

"I tried to remove Christ from the Cross in order to bury him - but he arose and beckoned me rather to join him in new life"

THE STRUGGLE OF FAITH

I have wrestled with God for most of my life - vacillating between complete Atheism and tear-filled prostrations before his "presence." I have tried to meet God through Religion, and outside of it through personal meditations, encounters with various Gurus and teachers of spiritual practices from the East, West and in-between. When I "became" a Christian I struggled with it more than I ever admitted - being everything from an ardent opponent to a somewhat fanatical Evangelical fundamentalist.

I embraced the Eastern Orthodox, and then ultimately the Roman Catholic faith a couple of years ago - only to reject it all after wrestling with the child abuse scandal and questioning the Magisterium that seemed to support it.....

But the person of Christ is too real for me to ignore - the Church that he founded as his legacy, on the shoulders of Peter and the Apostles is too authentic to be rejected.

THE UNFAITHFUL BRIDE

The Church, the bride of Christ, has been unfaithful many times. But, even with all of its flaws and mistakes - that are many, some very serious, the Church reflects the real world in which it exists. Like the world, it is sometimes so very hateful and cruel beyond measure - but underneath it all, is seen such overwhelming love and beauty it overcomes and seems to make it all worthwhile and ultimately deserving of the forgiveness and mercy of God.

COMING HOME - AGAIN...

So, I stand at the door of the Church - like the returning son at the house of his father. Like the father - the Church has always been waiting - faithfully opening its arms for both the repentant and the resentful (like the two sons in the parable of Luke 15) - I have been both.

Like me, the Church falls short of its expectations - but there is strength in weakness that is honestly shared among many. Isn't that what the Christian life is really supposed to be; life in community as we wrestle with God in faith?

Immigration and the History of the United States

2010-04-27T16:15:00.003-04:00

This blog is a departure from my usual subject of spirituality - but I felt moved by the recent events in immigration legislation - particularly in Arizona, and I wanted to record my thoughts.

NATIVE AMERICAN IMMIGRANTS?

"It is a remarkable fact that Indian people served the United States long before they were even given United States citizenship. In fact, between 1917 and 1918, over 10,000 Native American people enlisted into the armed services to serve in World War I. Although this was the greatest number of enlisted peoples from any one ethnic culture, citizenship (with the right to vote) for Native Americans was not granted until 1924."

- from "Native Americans in the Military" web article: http://www.hud.gov/offices/pih/ih/codetalk/onap/veterans.cfm

I think it might be a tough search to find any existing nation that did not come into existence through the persistent actions of determined "illegal" immigrants.

With the proposal before the Arizona legislation, the new immigration law being suggested will take the history of human rights back to its darker days.

There is a need to separate the word "illegal" from the word "immigrant" - someone should only be illegal if they are involved in legal deception or criminal activities. Immigrants that do not have immigration status or citizenship are merely "unregistered" immigrants.

Citizenship is a right - of birth,marriage and/or due legal process. It is not something that should be taken lightly - it is also not something that should be the vehicle for human rights violations. There is a higher law when it comes to the rights of humans, beyond any border.

FREEDOM OF AND FROM....

I believe I'm right in thinking that the U.S.A. was founded on the principle of freedom.

Freedom of religion, freedom of speech, and although not often spoken of - as a harbor of freedom FROM oppression, poverty and sickness.

Most immigrants come to America for a better life. Some are able to do it legally - some are not. Each case should be reviewed with compassion and dignity before they are deemed as "Illegal."

There are immigrants and citizens who commit criminal acts - these should be the first target of legislation and police action.

Let's give the hard-working, honest "unregistered" immigrants a chance to make their case.

Please let's not turn America (state by state) into another nation that punishes people for trying to improve their lives.

More on Thoughtless Awareness

2010-04-06T12:40:00.000-04:00

"In the state of thoughtless awareness

we think neither of the past nor of the future.

We are entirely in the present moment,

in the state of being, and do not waste

the precious moments of life

thinking about times that are finished forever

or yet to come.

We start to enjoy our Self, our spirit,

our own inner beauty and

the beauty of creation.

We start to enjoy being.

We are able to enjoy the singing of birds

and the scent of flowers at a much deeper level

as we are no longer bombarded by

the meaningless mental chatter

that assails our awareness and pollutes our attention, distracting us from the simple joys of our existence.”

- Shri Mataji Nirmala Devi

MEDITATION "WARNINGS"

A lot of well-intentioned people used to warn me that meditation was potentially dangerous because it involved "emptying" or "blanking out" the mind, and therefore could lead to mental illness, or a kind of insanity.

Others told me that meditation involved holding the breath unnaturally for extended periods, or adopting strange postures, as if meditation were a physical exertion or strain.

But, since I began practicing Sahaja Meditation, I have found meditation to be simple, natural and most pleasurable. In the center of the experience is a state called “Thoughtless Awareness,” (Sanskrit: Nirvichar Samadhi) which is not the "blanking out" of the mind, but rather the releasing or letting go of thought as the controlling function in your consciousness.

WE ARE WHAT WE THINK - OR NOT

In our day to day life thoughts make the rules - they determine our emotions, our reactions, and whether we experience stress or peace throughout the day. Our thoughts can lead us into worry and cause us to lose sleep and ultimately can cause ill-health. Hence the meaning behind the word "dis-ease."

"How to do meditation, many people ask? Don’t do anything, just go into thoughtless awareness. Try to go to the thoughtless awareness. If you can get into that condition of thoughtless awareness, you’ve done your job because that’s the point where you are with the truth, with the reality, with the joy, with everything that is so fundamental."

- Shri Mataji

I began practicing Sahaja Meditation, a couple of months ago now, and although I've tried various other types of meditation before, i.e. Mantra, Kriya, Siddha, Vipassyana, Zen..... in Sahaja practice, meditation is not a means for achieving enlightenment or awakening - it is in fact, the vehicle that enables the enjoyment or experience of that state already present within. There IS no attainment - just the realization of it. It is truly effortless and natual.

"Enjoyment is only possible when you are beyond your mind. With your mind you can never enjoy. It's like a big load. It will not act, it will not help. Enjoyment comes when you are in complete silence - in a ripple less lake. The reflection of all the joy that is created on the shores of that lake are completely reflected, they are not deflected. If there were ripples it would have been a different image altogether and would have been something nowhere near the image of reality."

- Shri Mataji

CAGING THE MONKEY-MIND

In Thoughtless Awareness - it is not that the thoughts don't come into the mind; they still parade through like hyperactive monkeys, and the mind, guided by the ego, still wants to react and/or respond to the thoughts immediately. But the thoughts no longer have a place to "land" and become a "passing show," almost as if the thoughts become independent and have a mind of their own.

When I practiced meditation of other kinds - I would find it very difficult to stay still for 20 minutes. I'd become bored, or drowsy, or worse - I'd drift off into fantasy land or begin making "worry lists" of all that I had to think about....in Sahaja it is different. I remain consciously alert - but in a state beyond thought - where there is awareness of the depth of consciousness that is usually "hidden behind" immediate, demanding thoughts. This unhindered awareness exists in stillness and perfect quiet. The sensation is like being restfully asleep while simultaneously being fully conscious of all that is happening around you. I now can enter extended periods of meditation - 40 minutes or more - without leg cramps, drowsiness, or boredom. It is a wonderful experience.

There are many methods of meditation - and it is a personal preference as to which one works the best for each person. Some people might find Sahaja Meditation unsuitable for them - and they may not take to it. The first time I tried it - about 16 years ago - I just didn't get it. It seemed strange and ineffective. This time - I learned the basic technique in about 20 minutes and this time it felt natural and I experienced the benefits almost immediately.

THE "BLUE PEARL" EXPERIENCE

I've had some very vivid visual experiences while practicing Sahaja. Not the least of which is what is called "The Blue Pearl." Where in a state of deep meditation, a vivid circle of bright blue light - appears internally, mentally, behind closed eyes, in a position just above the eyes, between the eyebrows. This has happened several times as I meditated in complete darkness with eyes closed.

I did some research on this experience and found reference to it in a few places. The most interesting being the observations of Swami Muktananda, who wrote about his experiences with "The Blue Pearl" as follows:

"......the Blue Pearl, dwells in the sahasrara, the spiritual center in the crown of the head. It is the body of the Self. All consciousness is contained in it. All of the dynamism of the breathing process comes from the Blue Pearl. When that light enters the body, the rhythm of breathing begins. When it departs from the body, consciousness departs from the bloodstream, the nerves and the lungs, leaving everything limp and lifeless. "Death" is simply the name we give to the departure of the Blue Pearl from the body."

- Swami Muktananda, from "Does Death Really Exist?"

After having this vivid experience - I was obviously very excited, and my ego got the better of me and I began to think that "I had arrived..., I was special." But I shared my experienced with some long-time practicioners of Sahaja Meditation and they smiled and, in so many words, told me to "....just ignore it, it'll go away, it's not that important - just another distraction...!!!" I was irritated at first - because I'd always thought that there would be "flashing lights" and "glowing visions" associated with enlightenment - but alas, awakening or enlightenment is, as many meditation masters have said, perfectly ordinary and natural but sublime..... Shri Mataji, the founder of Sahaja Meditation has reportedly said that these visual experiences are not that important and a lot of so-called Gurus have used these experiences as "proof" of the validity of their status - while actually they are not that significant, but merely indicators of other factors in your consciousness, some positive, some negative. So it goes.....

So, I'm learning to ignore the signposts, because the reality is, that there is no destination other than where I already am. As I said before, meditation is not a path to another level of existence or awareness - it is a means of enabling the experience of the "real" or "true" consciousness that is behind all the thoughts and conditioning that the ego/mind conspiracy has generated as a kind of protection that makes us believe that happiness or contentment is somewhere else, or outside of us.

Meditation is more than just not thinking, or breathing, it is perhaps better described as a way of learning to see, feel and hear reality more clearly as it is right now.

_________________________

The Joy of Thoughtless Awareness

2010-03-20T19:29:00.000-04:00

I got up just before sunrise this morning to meditate. It was calm, peaceful and silent. It’s an amazing experience at that time of the morning to really listen to nature coming awake. Suddenly, in synchronized harmony with the first burst of sunlight, birds begin to sing. Not all at once, but gradually, like a movement in a symphony that begins with a solo instrument and builds to the full orchestra. The birds announce the arrival of light.

As I listened to the birds’ song in the peaceful state of thoughtless awareness that is the fulfillment of meditation, I was vividly aware that the birds and I are inextricably linked with one life. We share this one life through different perspectives and appearances. We are not experiencing different separate lives - but rather one life through different expression.

ONE LIFE - NO FEAR

When this is experienced - there is no fear.
There is no question of evil or sense of insecurity.
It is as if everything is complete right now just as it is.

Last night I went to a Sahaja Meditation meeting in Cincinnati. As I meditated with those people from diverse races and backgrounds there is the same sense of completeness and sense of unity of life that I experienced with the birds this morning. It is not a communion in the religious sense; where our common practice unites us, but rather the practice reveals what is always the case but hidden from us by our self-centred acquisitive minds.

REALITY IN PRACTICE

Meditation is the purest expression of the full experience of living that I’ve ever known. The beauty of it is that it does not require any system of learned belief - it is a practice that can be tried and proven without having to acknowledge or accept strange or unfamiliar dogmas as a pre-requisite. The practice itself reveals reality - and there is no compulsion to argue about it with others or threaten others with the consequences of non-practice!

For over 30 years I had searched through every religion known to man to try to possess the truth - to try and hold onto what I was told and understood about God and reality. But I did not find it to be true to my experience - the God I intuitively know is different than the God described in “other people’s mail” that is traditional religion.

At the beginning of this year I made a commitment (I hesitate to say “resolution”) to commit to cease struggling with the truths of this and that religion, and to begin the earnest practicing of Meditation, and at the time, in the back of my mind, I was concerned that I’d lose interest or that I’d lose patience because of “lack of results” (as if there is something to be achieved!!).

But, I have found Meditation to be wonderful, fulfilling and surprisingly easy to practice.

It’s been wonderful to realize that by practicing Meditation instead of religion - I’ve gained something more fulfilling than both - LIFE.

With God On Our Side

2010-02-14T14:28:00.000-05:00

Familiar Words - When will we ever learn?

"We'd be wise to seek "some divine intervention again" to be safe, secure and prosperous.”
- Sarah Palin, February 6th, 2010

"If we pursue this way, if we are decent, industrious, and honest, if we so loyally and truly fulfill our duty, then it is my conviction that in the future as in the past the Lord God will always help us. In the long run He never leaves decent folk in the lurch.”

- Adolf Hitler, May Day, 1933

"Remain strong in your faith, as you were in former years. In this faith, in its close--knit unity our people today goes straight forward on its way and no power on earth will avail to stop it.”

- Adolf Hitler, October 15th, 1937

"Oh my name it is nothin'
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And the land that I live in
Has God on its side.

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side.

The Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns on their hands
And God on their side.

The First World War, boys
It came and it went
The reason for fighting
I never did get
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side.

When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And then we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side.

I've learned to hate Russians
All through my whole life
If another war comes
It's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side.

But now we got weapons
Of the chemical dust
If fire them we're forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God's on your side.

In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.

So now as I'm leavin'
I'm weary as Hell
The confusion I'm feelin'
Ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God's on our side
He'll stop the next war.”

- "With God On Our Side"
- Bob Dylan, 1963

The Case of the Buddha and the Alabaster Jar

2010-02-01T17:22:00.005-05:00

(map of the "Silk Road")

"Then took Mary a pound of ointment of spikenard, very costly, and anointed the feet of Jesus, and wiped his feet with her hair: and the house was filled with the odour of the ointment."

- The Gospel of John Chapter 12 Verse 3 (KJV)

TRUTH BY WAY OF THE SILK ROAD

As a student of comparative religion I have always been fascinated by the similarities between the recorded sayings of Jesus and those of Shakyamuni Buddha. i.e. both spoke in parables, some like the parable of the "Lost Son," having similar titles and themes. Both sets of sayings and parables being recorded after the fact, recalled from the devoted memories of followers and witnesses to their physical earthly presence.

WHO CAME FIRST?

However, what puzzled me is that Buddha lived about 500 years before Christ - but when I would ask "knowledgeable" Christians if it were possible that Jesus could have been inspired by Buddha's teachings, I would be greeted with accusations of adopting "New Age" speculation, or more positively, more historically educated Christians would tell me that it was likely that the stories of Jesus would have spread and been blended with the oral traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism over the years. Good answer, I thought.

Then one day I was reading the Gospel According to St. John in the King James Version (rarely used these days) and I came across a reference to an ointment called "Spikenard" in Chapter 12 verse 3. - a Bible commentary resource offered an interesting description.

"(Heb. nerd), a much-valued perfume (Cant. 1:12; 4:13, 14). It was "very precious", i.e., very costly (Mark 14:3; John 12:3,5). It is the root of an Indian plant, the Nardostachys jatamansi, of the family of Valeriance, growing on the Himalaya mountains" - from Net.Bible

Further investigation revealed more about Spikenard's presence in ancient Egypt and Palestine as an imported spice from the foothills of the Himalayas - specifically from the area of Nepal (the birthplace of Siddhartha Gautama, the Buddha). Even more interesting is the historical evidence that the early traders of silk and spices that traversed the so-called 7,000 mile Silk Road were Buddhist monks during the period from the 3rd century B.C.E. to 1st Century C.E.

Given the tremendous grueling effort of the monk-merchants to make the harrowing journey - it would seem very likely that they might have exposed willing listeners to the teachings of the Buddha all along their route - much like the Apostle Paul did during his missionary journeys. Especially since the entire middle-east was living in expectation of the arrival of a Messiah, and Prophets were found on nearly every street corner proclaiming new "teachings" or revelations from God.

SPICY TALES

Very enthusiastic Christians have tried to persuade me that it was the teachings of Jesus that the monks brought back to Nepal that inspired the Sutras of Buddha - but given that there is no specific historical reference to Christianity being found in Asia prior to 54 A.D., with the arrival of St. Thomas in India - I strongly suspect that it is more likely that the reverse is more likely, and that Jesus was inspired by the teachings of this Buddha and his itinerant Monks from far away. Thus, when Thomas arrived in India his teachings were not seen as strange or abstract, but merely a re-presentation of what everyone already knew.

Take these thoughts for what they're worth - I find the subject fascinating......

Here's one of the Parables of Buddha - see if you don't think it sounds familiar in some ways

THE WEALTHY MAN AND THE POOR SON

(From The Lotus Sutra - Chapter 4)

"It is like the case of a boy who.
When still young without understanding,
abandoned his father and ran away,
going far off to another land,
drifting from one country to another
for over fifty years,
his father, distressed in thought,
searched for him in every direction
till, worn out with searching,
he halted in a certain city.
There he built a dwelling
where he could indulge the five desires.
His house was large and costly,
with quantities of gold, silver,
seashell, agate,
pearls, lapis lazuli,
elephants, horses, oxen goats,
palanquins, and carriages,
fields for farming, menservants, grooms,
and other people in great number.
He engaged in profitable ventures
at home and in all the lands around,
and had merchants and traveling vendors
stationed everywhere.
Thousands, ten thousands, millions
surrounded him and paid reverence;
he enjoyed the constant favor
and consideration of the ruler.
The officials and power clans
all joined in paying him honor,
and those who for one reason or another
flocked about him were many.
Such was his vast wealth,
the great power and influence he possessed.
But as he grew old an decrepit
he recalled his son with greater distress than ever,
day and night thinking of nothing else:
"Now the time of my death draws hear.
Over fifty years have passed
since that foolish boy abandoned me.
My storehouses full of goods-
what will become of them?"
At this time the impoverished son
was searching for food and clothing,
going from village to village,
from country to country,
sometimes finding something,
other times finding nothing,
starving and emaciated,
his body broken out in sores and ring worm.
As he moved from place to place
he arrived in time at the city where his father lived,
shifting from one job to another
until he came to his father's house.

At that time the rich man
had spread a large jeweled canopy
inside his gate
and was seated on a lion throne,
surrounded by his dependents
and various attendants and guards.
Some were counting out
gold, silver, and precious objects,
or recording in ledgers
the outlay and income of wealth.
The impoverished son, observing
how eminent and distinguished His father was,
supposed he must be the king of a country
or the equal of a king.
Alarmed and full of wonder,
he asked himself why he had come here.
Secretly he thought to himself,
if I linger here for long
I will perhaps be seized
and pressed into service!
Once this thought had occurred to him,
he raced from the spot,
and inquiring where there was a poor village,
went there in hopes of gaining employment.
The rich man at the time,
seated on his lion throne,
saw his son in the distance
and silently recognized who he was.
Immediately he instructed a messenger
to hurry after him and bring him back.
The impoverished son, crying out in terror,
sank to the ground in distress.
"This man has seized me
and is surely going to put me to death!
To think that my search for food and clothing
should bring me to this!"
The rich man knew that his son
was ignorant and self-abasing.

"He will never believe my words,
will never believe I am his father."
So he employed an expedient means,
sending some other men to the son,
a one-eyed man, another puny and uncouth,
completely lacking in imposing appearance,
saying, "Speak to him
and tell him I will employ him
to remove excrement and filth,
and will pay him twice the regular wage."
When the impoverished son heard this
he was delighted and came with the messengers
and worked to clear away excrement and filth
and clean the rooms of the house.
From the window the rich man
would constantly observe his son,
thinking how his son was ignorant and self-abasing
and delighted in such menial labor.
At such times the rich man
would put on dirty ragged clothing,
take in hand a utensil for removing excrement
and go to where his son was,
using this expedient means to approach him,
encouraging him to work diligently.
"I have increased your wages
and given you oil to rub on your feet.
I will see that you have plenty to eat and drink,
mats and bedding that are thick and warm."
At times he would speak severely:
"You must work hard!"
Or again he will say in a gentle voice,
"You are like a son to me."
The rich man, being wise,
gradually permitted his son to come and go in the house.
After twenty years had passed,
he put him in charge of household affairs,
showing him his gold, silver,
pearls, crystal,
and the other things that were handed out or gathered in,
so that he would understand all about them,
though the son continued to live outside the gate,
sleeping in a hut of grass,
for he looked upon himself as poor,
thinking, "None of these things are mine."
The father knew that his son's outlook
was gradually becoming broader and more magnanimous,
and wishing to hand over his wealth and goods,
he called together his relatives,
the king of the country and the high ministers,
the noblemen and householders.
In the presence of this great assembly
he declared, "This is my son
who abandoned me and wandered abroad
for a period of fifty years.
Since I found him again,
twenty years have gone by.
Long ago, in such-and-such a city,
when I lost my son,
I traveled all around searching for him
until eventually I came here.
All that I possess,
my house and people,
I hand over entirely to him
so he may do with them as he wishes."
The son thought now in the past he had been poor,
humble and self-abasing in outlook,
but now he had received from his father
this huge bequest of rare treasures,
along with the father's house
and all his wealth and goods.
He was filled with great joy,
having gained what he never had before.
The Buddha too is like this.
He knows our fondness for the petty,
and so he never told us,
"You can attain Buddhahood."

- Lotus Sutra, Burton Watson Translation

The Self-Created Narrow Way

2010-01-11T19:38:00.001-05:00

I think that there are a lot of people like me out there.

People who had no childhood spiritual roots, from a family and peer group that was agnostic or who at best considered religion as irrelevant to life.

Yet, during a formative period in life, I had a very real, spiritual experience that left me wanting more. Seeing in that brief spiritual “encounter" more joy and sensing an awareness of reality that goes beyond description - I felt like a man who had discovered buried treasure, but had forgotten where it was and how to find it again.

So, I have lived my life with this sense of spiritual longing in the background - like an itch that I can’t reach.

My first response to my “glimpse” of reality was to explore religion. That may have been the first of many mistakes I made in my search for the “Truth.”

THEY SEEK IT HERE - THEY SEEK IT THERE

Naturally I was at first drawn to “exotic” religions - having no familiarity with the religion of my own culture beyond that of a few negative experiences from Church Sunday School.

So I began a search through almost every religion and philosophy that I could get my hands on - and I stand here today - with a lot of relatively useless knowledge about so many religions and a fairly deep understanding of most of the meaning behind so many religious practices and spiritual disciplines.

All of this means virtually nothing when it comes to making a comparison to my original experience that engendered the search. The knowledge does not make the experience. In fact, it could easily be argued that the knowledge that I have actually inhibits the chance of having the experience again.

I had made the search difficult by my own decisions and I had created a mountain path of my own invention that I could not climb by natural means.

My openness to spiritual reality - that I had at the time of my initial experience - has been seriously wounded by the Evangelical and Theological mindset that I adopted when I became a Christian. This ideal that there should be answers to everything. Doubt was never to be left unanswered; doubt was a springboard for expanding knowledge rather than an opportunity to explore or appreciate the mystery.

I have come to realize that only by living on the edge of doubt can I be open to the pure grace that is God’s gift. I can choose a belief, but a belief can block the truth just as easily as it can explain it.

NO MEMBERSHIP REQUIRED

A friend said it well - no institution can ever bring wholeness.

God’s salvation, based on unconditional love, must be world-embracing or it is not worthy of God.

My only chance of experiencing peace and contentment in my life is to totally trust that God is in control of his own creation. That is exactly the sense of well-being that was at the root of my initial experience. That all is well and that life is good as it is. I can’t make that happen - it can only be received as an act of grace in response to the total acceptance of reality.

I realized quite recently that truth does not require membership.

We are Home

2010-01-06T17:11:00.005-05:00

“Christianity as Jesus taught it was not a creed,

nor a system of ceremonies,

nor a special gift from a ritualistic Jehovah;

but it was the demonstration of divine Love

casting out error and healing the sick,

not merely in the

name of Christ, or Truth,

but in demonstration of Truth.”

- Mary Baker Eddy

"Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures,” p.135

“Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.” - St. Luke 15:31

My absolute favorite chapter in the Bible is St. Luke 15 - where Jesus describes, to an eager audience, through vivid and compelling parables, the nature of the Kingdom of Heaven.

The central parable is that of the so-called, “Lost Son.” Jesus tells the parable as a way of “casting out error,” or dispelling misbeliefs about the reality of God’s unconditional love.

As an Evangelical, and even as an Orthodox Christian I had been taught that this parable revealed the need for repentance, as the son returns to the loving father to be forgiven and restored to his rightful heritage in the household of the Father (which I’d understood to be the representation of heaven under God’s dominion. )

But, as a result of taking the advice of Alan Watts, and putting the Bible aside for awhile, and more importantly, casting aside the layers upon layers of “commentary" that had served to restrict my perspective and limit my understanding. I read the parable again, as if for the first time, in a fresh, unencumbered light, I can see that the traditional interpretation is not only very limited - but presents a very different picture of reality than that which is obvious from its straightforward read and interpretation.

Here is the entire parable for the sake of context:

St. Luke, Chapter 15, verses 11-32

¹¹And he said, A certain man had two sons:
¹²And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.
¹³And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.
¹⁴And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.
¹⁵And he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country; and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
¹⁶And he would fain have filled his belly with the husks that the swine did eat: and no man gave unto him.
¹⁷And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
¹⁸I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,
¹⁹And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.
²⁰And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.
²¹And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.
²²But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:
²³And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:
²⁴For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.
²⁵Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.
²⁶And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.
²⁷And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.
²⁸And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.
²⁹And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:
³⁰But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.
³¹And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.
³²It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

(Luke 15:11-32, King James Version)

THE DEMONSTRATION OF TRUTH

Here’s what I saw, and continually remind myself to see - as, I believe, it reveals a totally different “image” of God than that which has been passed down by the traditional church for over 1800 years!!!

I’ll repeat the parable - but with my comments highlighted.

¹²And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth to me. And he divided unto them his living.

¹³And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

The parable does not share the background motive for the younger son’s demands – could it be the drive for fulfillment, or happiness – that he thought was elsewhere?

¹³And not many days after the younger son gathered all together, and took his journey into a far country, and there wasted his substance with riotous living.

¹⁴And when he had spent all, there arose a mighty famine in that land; and he began to be in want.

His seeking of fulfillment elsewhere turned into the experience of greater lack – he did not find what he was looking for – only more dissatisfaction.

¹⁷And when he came to himself, he said, How many hired servants of my father's have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!

¹⁸I will arise and go to my father, and will say unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and before thee,

¹⁹And am no more worthy to be called thy son: make me as one of thy hired servants.

“when he came to himself” – in other words, he became aware of reality and accepted that happiness was not elsewhere – the fulfillment that he sought was where he had started. What he sought was what he already had, in the presence of the Father.

²⁰And he arose, and came to his father. But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

²¹And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

²²But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

²³And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

²⁴For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

Religion focuses on the journey of repentance – the path of earning back, or restoring the Father’s approval. However, consider the significance of the well-chosen words of this passage:

But when he was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.

In other words, the father had no expectations of behavior on the part of the prodigal son, … his return home was enough.

²¹And the son said unto him, Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in thy sight, and am no more worthy to be called thy son.

²²But the father said to his servants, Bring forth the best robe, and put it on him; and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet:

²³And bring hither the fatted calf, and kill it; and let us eat, and be merry:

²⁴For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found. And they began to be merry.

Once again, the son tries to repent of his behavior – and again the Father’s UNCONDITIONAL love is revealed:

"... But the father said....

The Father does not respond to his son - he does not admonish him or even express forgiveness - he open-heartedly accepts and restores him without conditions!

²⁵Now his elder son was in the field: and as he came and drew nigh to the house, he heard musick and dancing.

²⁶And he called one of the servants, and asked what these things meant.

²⁷And he said unto him, Thy brother is come; and thy father hath killed the fatted calf, because he hath received him safe and sound.

²⁸And he was angry, and would not go in: therefore came his father out, and intreated him.

²⁹And he answering said to his father, Lo, these many years do I serve thee, neither transgressed I at any time thy commandment: and yet thou never gavest me a kid, that I might make merry with my friends:

³⁰But as soon as this thy son was come, which hath devoured thy living with harlots, thou hast killed for him the fatted calf.

³¹And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.

³²It was meet that we should make merry, and be glad: for this thy brother was dead, and is alive again; and was lost, and is found.

This last passage speaks the most to me and is perhaps the most revealing and meaningful of the entire passage – we are never separated from love, the source of our lives – all the love and acceptance that we could ever hope for is already here. The fulfillment that we seek in life is in the realization that what we seek is already the case. It is the very act of seeking for it that causes the dissatisfaction! The younger son was lost only in his own delusion – the end of his seeking outside of himself was his finding.

I see myself in the older son, my first reaction is anger and frustration at life, because it seems so unfair that my diligent seeking was a distraction from the reality of an ever-present abiding love - but my discovery should be a reason for celebration, there is no reason to seek elsewhere for peace and fulfillment - I am already home.

THE END OF RELIGION

In this parable of the “Lost Son” I see that Jesus Christ, the One historically identified as the founder of the religion of Christianity, in fact, did not see "getting to God, or Truth" as a matter for religion, but more a matter of accepting that which was already the case, the complete divine reality, already present within and around us. He taught and demonstrated this in real, visible ways through His life, death and resurrection.

"He (Jesus Christ) has inaugurated a new life, not a new religion.”

“..in Him (Jesus Christ) was the end of “religion” because He himself
was the Answer to all religion, to all human hunger for God,
because in Him the life that was lost by man - and which could only be
symbolized, signified, asked for in religion - was restored to man.”

- Fr. Alexander Schmemann, “For The Life of The World” p.20

“Be content with what you have; rejoice in the way things are. When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you."

- Lao Tzu

A Growing Commitment to Reality

2010-01-03T16:50:00.001-05:00

"It is very difficult to try to determine what it is that makes a person want to meditate. It has puzzled me over the years. There seem to be so many reasons why people start to meditate. But I think there is only one reason that keeps people meditating. That I think we could describe as a growing commitment to reality."

- from "The Way of Unknowing" by Dom John Main, Benedictine Monk

My first experience with Meditation was not what I had expected. I had no experience of visions, or “flashing lights” - it was quite ordinary and relatively easy. I was drawn to it because of the Beatles’ focused interest in it back in 1967 - as a means of reaching an altered state of consciousness without the influence of drugs. Unlike many of my peers though, I stuck with it, even though for years I did it "incorrectly," or practiced ineffectively. It wasn't a daily practice - although I tried to be disciplined about it.

My interest in Meditation expanded to an interest in religion, as I began to question life's "meaning" and sought a "purpose" for everything. Religion seemed to give answers to difficult questions and provided a means of finding value for life.

UNORGANIZED RELIGION

"I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members." - Groucho Marx

Just recently (in the past nine months) - I have found that I do not fit the mold of any institutional form of religion. I have really tried to be Orthodox - to be obedient to the formulas of the Church and other religious authority, but I see too much, and experience too much, of the natural human desire for control within these institutions; where the principals that were first developed to preserve the truth, have become the very means of its distortion. In my own opinion, I think that many of the rules and regulations of the various religious organizations are the result of an attempt to "lock down" reality into a desired formula. When those who lack the REAL personal "experience" of God or Spirit are placed in positions of leadership - there is a natural tendency to want to define truth in concrete terms.

Over the past couple of weeks - while away from home on vacation - I've been looking at the practical aspects of spiritual practice - not as a means of attainment, but as the means of "experiencing" reality. I do not feel distant from God as I once did - I no longer experience any space between God and Creation. I hasten to point out that I'm not a pantheist. Rather, I have become firm in a position as a Panentheist. God is not equal with creation - which is pantheism, rather I see God as containing all - all is in God.

Although I am unable to JOIN any particular religious group or order - I find myself able to appreciate them all when I see that which is consistent among them.

NO RESOLUTIONS - JUST RESOLVE

"The longer you meditate, the the longer you persevere through the difficulties and false starts, then the clearer it becomes to you that you have to continue if you are going to lead your life in a meaningful and profound way. You must never forget the way of meditation: to say your mantra from the beginning to the end. This is basic, axiomatic, and let nothing dissuade you from the truth of it. In your reading you may come across all sorts of variants and alternatives. But the discipline, the ascesis of meditation places this one demand on us absolutely: that we must leave self behind so completely that we can be totally at the disposition of the Other. We must do so in an absolute way and that is the demand that the mantra makes upon us: to say it from beginning to the end, in all simplicity and in absolute fidelity.”

- from "The Way of Unknowing" by Dom John Main, Benedictine Monk

I'm not one for making New Year’s resolutions or vows - but I do like to make commitments to transformation for the better. So I've come home to that which was the foundation of all my seeking - the practice of Meditation. It has been the one constant in a life of seemingly endless searching and seeking which I've determined has come to an end. There is no religion that does not fall short of its own definition of reality.

As John Main astutely observes: the practice of Meditation places one absolute demand on us, and that is: "we must leave self behind so completely that we can be totally at the disposition of the Other.”

2010 is the year for Meditation - for experiencing more of this wonderful reality that is complete, as it is. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

Happy New Year 2010

2010-01-02T16:19:00.000-05:00

"Creator God

at the start

of this New Year

when thoughts turn again

to beginnings

starting afresh

new leaves

and turning skeletons

free from cupboards

be with us

as we gaze into the distance

of fresh mission grounds

of hopes and dreams

opportunities for service

challenges

and uncertainties

Take our fears

and turn them into strengths

Take our lack of faith

and empower us

through the Spirit

who breathes life into this world

whose presence is reflected

in the icy chill

of winter's breath

as well as the comforting warmth

of a summer breeze.

Walk with us into this New Year

of opportunity"

- Celtic Christian New Year's Prayer by John Birch

Ref: The Celtic Christian Church

Faith as Understanding

2009-12-09T23:17:00.001-05:00

“The atonement is a hard problem in theology,

but its scientific explanation is,

that suffering is an error of sinful sense which Truth destroys,

and that eventually both sin and suffering

will fall at the feet of everlasting Love.

Rabbinical lore said:

“He that taketh one doctrine,

firm in faith,

has the Holy Ghost dwelling in him.”

This preaching receives a strong rebuke in the Scripture,

“Faith without works is dead.”

Faith, if it be mere belief,

is as a pendulum swinging

between nothing and something,

having no fixity.

Faith, advanced to spiritual understanding,

is the evidence gained from Spirit,

which rebukes sin of every kind

and establishes the claims of God.

In Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and English,

faith and the words corresponding thereto

have these two definitions,

trustfulness and trustworthiness.

One kind of faith trusts one’s welfare to others.

Another kind of faith understands divine Love

and how to work out one’s

“own salvation, with fear and trembling.”

“Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief!”

expresses the helplessness of a blind faith;

whereas the injunction,

“Believe . . . and thou shalt be saved!”

demands self-reliant trustworthiness,

which includes spiritual understanding and confides all to God.”

- Mary Baker Eddy

I don't like to throw books across the room, and it's unlikely that I'd do it when I'm reading a book written by someone that I admire. But it happened last week. I won't name the Author, or the book - it's not necessary for the purposes of this post - but I will say that the subject matter was "Faith."

What frustrated me in this particular case was that throughout the book the Author continually spoke about "choosing faith," as if it was like picking out a China pattern or a pair of socks.

FAITH VERSUS BELIEF?

The fundamental issue is that the words Faith and Belief are often misused and confused for one another. The phrase "Having faith in what you believe," sounds very much like sound advice and a positive affirmation of strong spiritual intent, but, more often reveals a confused state of mind and potentially undermines the power of strong faith.

To believe something obviously does not necessarily make it true. Belief does not determine reality. My motto these days is "Truth is not a belief we choose, it is reality that we learn to accept." I've learned this the hard way.

Everyone has beliefs about something. It's important to know what you believe about important matters and to be able to defend those beliefs. But to place your faith in what you believe is to risk losing your faith when your beliefs are found to be irrational, or, at the very least, incomplete. This has happened to me and is happening more and more to others, as evidenced by the decline in traditional church memberships and the rapid growth in groups that encourage more "open-ended" spiritual discussions and fellowship groups that encourage an attitude of "seeking."

Faith is not the unconditional acceptance of a set of opinions. Faith is an open-minded embrace of the life-affirming power that pervades all of existence - Christian Science and other Metaphysical philosophies refer to it as the Divine Mind or God. This power is everywhere and has revealed itself personally and impersonally in an almost unlimited variety of forms, and has done so since time immemorial.

REALITY CAN BE TRUSTED

To live a life of faith is to meet reality head-on without fear. This is not the kind of faith that the Author of my discarded book was proposing. Rather, he wrote of the kind of faith that requires constant bolstering, as if it goes against the flow of life. The kind of faith that lives in fear of the power of the "Evil One" - in complete denial of the Master's assurance that He had overcome evil, and that His followers should "fear not." Faith is not a struggle - it is the reassurance that God, the Source of Life, can be trusted - beyond our understanding. That kind of faith grows in proportion to, and in conjunction with, understanding.

FAITH AND UNDERSTANDING

It's time we re-discovered the real meaning of faith. To drop the "easy-believism" that pervades much of Evangelical Christianity, that drives people to an attitude of condemnation of outsiders or those with differing beliefs, in an attempt to "protect their faith." Also, we should be more discerning in appropriating the real meaning of a sacred ritual; rather than falling prey to superstition or false belief that reduces the Omnipresent reality of God into a presence that is only REAL when the right words or objects are venerated. That is faith with no understanding. The Master said that the Kingdom is here NOW - if we act otherwise we fall short of our true humanity - the Divine humanity that Jesus and others revealed and demonstrated.

I wish that I hadn't thrown that book across the room. But I'm glad I thought about why.

Mary Baker Eddy and Non-Duality

2009-12-03T18:02:00.001-05:00

Mary Baker Eddy (1821 - 1910)

"Prayer cannot change the Science of being,

but it tends to bring us into harmony with it.

Goodness attains the demonstration of Truth.

A request that God will save us is not all that is required.

The mere habit of pleading with the divine Mind,

as one pleads with a human being,

perpetuates the belief in God as humanly circumscribed,

an error which impedes spiritual growth.

God is Love.

Can we ask Him to be more?

God is intelligence.

Can we inform the infinite Mind of anything He does not already comprehend?"

BEYOND THE BOOK

I recently began studying the writings of Mary Baker Eddy - founder of Christian Science, and I am fascinated by her rather unique interpretations of scripture and her observations about the nature of God and reality. Her thoughts were controversial in her day and deviate considerably with the teachings and doctrines of the Orthodox Christian Church. Her efforts to find a means of spiritual healing, led her to the discovery, development and foundation of the Christian Science Movement in the late 1870's.

Although her writings mostly pertained, and were limited to, the interpretation and application of spiritual principles found in the Christian Bible - her works revealed an obvious experience of non-dual reality that transcended all religious affiliation.

CAN YOU SEE THE REAL ME??

It seems that Mary Baker Eddy and I would agree that it is perhaps wiser to see that the primary purpose of scripture is not to try and convince us of an alternative reality that we must struggle to believe, but rather, reveal to us, through moral stories of legend and history, the nature of our own real existence as being at one with the source of all life. But, as is common with other forms of human communication, we often mistake the messenger for the author, or confuse the bearer of the message with its source. Thus we assume that the speaker is the consciousness that is communicating through the speaker. So people begin to focus on the personality of the messenger and miss the intent of the message. I think that this is what Mary Baker Eddy struggled against - the principles of Christianity that make Jesus separate and above us and therefore strip his teachings of their real-practical power. By declaring them as miraculous, or as "coming from God" - we distance ourselves from the reality that they reveal to our deepest thoughts and hearts. We make the fruits of his teachings unattainable because He is above us and not like us. Thus we divide ourselves from the transformed reality that already is. Jesus declared that the Kingdom was among us - it was not a place we had to die to get to - healing and wholeness were not in the distant future beyond death - but here and now.

We hold the same divisive thinking about our own consciousness. We reveal, by our use of speech, the confused identities that we bear. For example, we speak of "listening to the radio" - when in fact, we are, in reality, listening to a broadcast that is being transmitted through the radio. We speak of ourselves as doing or being, as if we have separate existence - when in fact our bodies are in reality, flesh and blood vehicles for the one consciousness that is manifesting through us. The idea that our consciousness belongs to us is the same as believing that the voice heard on the radio belongs to the device itself.

Therefore, the wholeness, the healing, the fulness of being, that we seek is already here - we just don't know it or hold it in our understanding.

Mary Baker Eddy taught that spiritual healing of diseases was possible because we are not what we think we are. We confuse our bodies with our selves and thus imprison ourselves in a false, limited view of our nature.

Some Christian Science practitioners have gotten seriously maligned for their misguided denial of medical treatment for their children and other adults. These cases are the extremist fringes and this is not the general practice of Christian Science - their belief in spiritual healing might better be classified as holistic healing - the balanced practice of both spiritual and medicinal health.

For the most part, Mary Baker Eddy inspired a lot of good people - she emphasized the integrated nature of life - de-emphasizing the material side of human life and re-emphasizing the human side of the divine life of Jesus.

"Give up the belief that mind is, even temporarily, compressed within the skull, and you will quickly become more manly or womanly. You will understand yourself and your Maker better than before"

- Mary Baker Eddy.

"Spirit is the real and eternal; matter is the unreal and temporal"
- Mary Baker Eddy

What You Already Are

2009-11-15T18:29:00.001-05:00

Meher Baba on Oneness:

"God is Love. And Love must love.

And to love there must be a Beloved.

But since God is Existence infinite and eternal there is no one for Him to love but Himself.

And in order to love Himself He must imagine Himself as the Beloved whom He as the Lover imagines He loves.

Beloved and Lover implies separation.

And separation creates longing; and longing causes search.

And the wider and the more intense the search the greater the separation and the more terrible the longing.

When longing is most intense separation is complete, and the purpose of separation, which was that Love might experience itself as Lover and Beloved, is fulfilled; and union follows.

And when union is attained, the lover knows that he himself was all along the Beloved whom he loved and desired union with; and that all the impossible situations that he overcame were obstacles which he himself had placed in the path to himself.

To attain union is so impossibly difficult because it is impossible to become what you already are!

Union is nothing other than knowledge of oneself as the Only One."

- from "The Everything and the Nothing"

Who Am I?

2009-11-15T18:01:00.001-05:00

Jiddu Krishnamurti gives a great answer to the question: "Who are you?"

The Whole Story

2009-11-06T19:57:00.001-05:00

SPOILER ALERT - I'M GOING TO TALK ABOUT SANTA CLAUS.....

WONDERFUL CHRISTMAS TIME

When our kids were young - we encouraged their belief in Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy and all sorts of imaginary characters. We wanted them to enjoy the wonderful full-on experience of childhood, in all its imaginative and creative moments of splendor.

As our children grew older, they began to question the reality of these characters, their magical existence suddenly became less certain and illogical. So we pondered how we might transition them to the realities of adulthood. Our decision was to tell our kids that Santa Claus etc. were "conditional" beings. It was necessary to believe in them in order for them to exist. This seemed to satisfy their curiosity for a while, they rarely asked about it anymore after that, and gradually they started to participate in the "game" by continuing the tradition of leaving out cookies and milk on Christmas Eve, even though we all secretly knew that reality was radically different. Our kids are grown now and they still love to continue the "make believe" traditions that we started when they were young.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN MAGIC?

Recently I've begun to see that religious or spiritual beliefs are similar to the childhood interpretations of reality that children believe in their innocence. Before I saw through the illusory barrier that is created by beliefs, I clung to the creeds and vows that were proclaimed by the various institutions of faith. I saw them as being true interpretations of a reality that I hoped someday to realize. As a Christian I clung to the creed and the sacraments, believing that in them was contained the means to be united with the source of my future destiny in Heaven. As a Buddhist I chanted parts of the Sutras and took refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha - striving through the intentional practice of meditation and chanting to secure my place in the eternal Pure Land.

After years and years of these practices - and the experience of never gaining any ground on my search for truth, or fulfillment, I felt further away from the peace even after I kept re-doubling my efforts.

My thoughts constantly resolved that I would be complete, happy, and peaceful, if I could just get a better understanding of scripture - if I just chanted with a little more sincerity. If I could just get more of the gift of grace!!!!

Like a young child I strove to be a good conformer to the perceived standards that my image of God/Santa had for me, hoping that he would look favorably on me and give me what I wanted.

This is the true insanity of spiritual seeking. It has identifiable steps that look like this:

Recite a repeated belief until you believe that you believe it. Join a community of like believers so that you can support each other in your belief.
Live in awareness of the fact that you can never be worthy to receive the benefit of this adopted belief, and hope for grace.
Go out and "help" others to adopt the same beliefs as you.
Live life with hope for the future. Continue to strive, resting in the promise of future fulfillment.

WAKE ME, SHAKE ME

When I suddenly awoke from this dream I became aware of the truth of the story - the conditional reality that belief creates fell away and I began to see reality as that which is beyond belief. That which is not conditioned by belief is reality.

My first experience from awareness of the "Seeking Game" was one of being lost and alone - but this passed quickly and I opened up to the inter-connectedness of all things and saw that not only was I not alone - I was an integral part of all that is - the wholeness of everything. Yet my sense of personal ego was diminished. Belief no longer confined or defined me. My definition was extended beyond the ranges of my physical body and out into the rest of the universe. At first I was angry at how I had deceived myself with belief in belief! But after a while, like a maturing child I realized that I could re-enter the imaginary world of belief - go back to religion and spirituality, but with a sense of play and enjoyment - not for the purpose of attainment. There was no longer anything to obtain - now I could put out the "Cookies and Milk" (or, Pray and Meditate) in joy - and come back and eat them later in laughter. The story could be enjoyed even if I knew it was fantasy.

ALL OR NOTHING AT ALL

As part of the story of spirituality, I used to believe that enlightenment was something special - that it changed everything. That it would make me into a better me. That was a fantasy also. Awakening, or enlightenment is to realize the absolute beauty of everything as it is - even yourself. Accepting it all, including yourself, warts and all. Pain and pleasure, birth and death. It's all a meaningful part of a purposeless dance that is human-ness.

Welcome to the whole story. It has a wonderful plot and a great cast of characters.

Random Sparks of Nonduality - Part Two (of many)

2009-10-28T18:24:00.002-04:00

Some thoughts on "The Purpose(less) Driven Life":

- If life is a gift then it has no purpose behind it, for a gift with a purpose is a bribe and not an act of love.

- Jesus said "It is Finished." Perhaps he was talking about religion.

- The purpose of Christianity is to make more Christians - but the purpose of Jesus was to make more Christs.

- Doubt is not the opposite of faith - belief is the opposite of faith. Because faith is to be open to accepting things as they truly are - while belief is an attempt to tie reality down.

- The greatest sin is to always be thinking that someone else has committed it.

- Giving up belief is the next best thing to knowing the truth.

And now some comments on the world of Advaita/Nonduality.........

"Satsang" is a Sanskrit word meaning "fellowship in truth." Satsangs are meetings designed for people who believe that they have to go somewhere, to learn from someone how to get to something, that is already here. However, if you believe that you need to go to Satsangs in order to find yourself - you should go, because there is no better place for you. You should keep going to them until you come to realize that there is no one at the meetings.

The best teacher is one who doesn't know he's teaching.

If someone is telling you that you that they are enlightened - then they are deceiving both of you.

If you feel enlightened then it isn't you that's feeling it.

Buddha didn't become enlightened - He wasn't there when it happened.

If you can imagine a perfect world - you can live in it.

If you worry about losing your freedom - you will never have it.

If you want to be liberated - then you must stop thinking that you're not!!

When you are liberated it is because you stop thinking YOU ARE.

You will never make up your mind about the truth as long as your thoughts are busy making "you" up.

You won't be able to find yourself as long as you believe that it's you in the mirror.

Seeking liberation or enlightenment is like trying to bite your own teeth.

Awareness is always here - especially when you're not.

Neither the chicken, nor the egg came first - the concept of a chicken and an egg came first.

All of this is you playing hide n' seek with yourself.

Tomorrow never comes because now is never over.

I tried to stop thinking about something and nothing happened.

Awareness is what started when I stopped trying to be aware.

Consciousness expands when your mind gets out of its own way.

Awareness is what happens when your thoughts stop evaluating reality.

There's no U in This!

2009-10-26T15:18:00.006-04:00

"The mind says 'to get rid of this feeling of incompleteness, I must find answers.'

And so can you see how this actually maintains the feeling of incompleteness?

In reality, there is no incompleteness there, that's just a story, a belief. And really the incompleteness is your search for answers! Can you hear this?"

- Jeff Foster, Life Without A Centre, p.87

IN THE SHADOW OF DOUBT

I used to be a straightforward, if not traditional, "believer."

God was outside the world - as the primary Cause and Sustainer of everything. I used my "faith" to make intercession through prayer for people and things that I cared about. I prayed for change in myself and circumstances, and I really believed that God heard and interceded. I thought that my prayers really made a difference. In certain cases, prayers did work - they worked on me to change my thinking.

Believers do not acknowledge that they live in the shadow of doubt. They place their trust in a set of rules or "agreed-upon" understandings that others have passed onto them through traditions and the recorded memories of an ancient people.

But I am no longer a believer because "belief" is to deny the obvious nature of reality. Reality does not agree to pre-defined interpretations - reality is just things as they are.

Beliefs limit the changeable nature of real life. Beliefs do not determine the truth - they merely describe our preferred interpretation of reality.

THE SENSE OF SEPARATION

Religions are one of the solutions that man has devised to address the symptoms of a deeply felt sense of separation that we feel within ourselves. Other solutions are not so obvious; involving obsessions that do not seem so "healthy." Alcoholism, Workaholism, Drugs, Sex, Gambling, and other actions that seek to totally absorb our sense of "self." All are attempts to end this unrelenting awareness of being incomplete.

Religion drives the believer to seek salvation, or liberation. In this liberation is seen future fulfillment, so begins the earnest drive to attain that which will fulfill. In this "path to the truth," the believer finds temporary relief from suffering by momentary acts of surrender, found through periods of deep meditative prayer or contemplation - but still the persistent sense of lack continues.

Some of us went deeper into the search - believing that it was a matter of finding the "Right" religion or, by practicing our chosen religion in a more "Orthodox" or diligent way. But, ultimately, this led to a deeper awareness of the apparent separation. We read this as a sign of spiritual progress - we thought we had become more aware of the spiritual divide between man and God. More self-denial and self-sacrifice was necessary. The sense of lack grew as the path became steeper....... it seemed like an endless journey or one that could not be fulfilled in this lifetime. We did not lose hope at this, because religion had an answer for this apparent deepening longing for wholeness; we are on a spiritual journey to an eternal life beyond this one - where there is closeness to God, eternal fulfillment. A fulfilled destiny is the promised hope of religion.

THE GREAT (SURPRISE) AWAKENING

Some of us - perhaps as a result of the futility of our earnest search and perhaps by a pure act of grace (an event with no purpose) - became aware of the perfectly obvious.

The sense of separation is not fulfilled by spiritual seeking - it is fueled by it!!!

Our mind tells us that we are on a journey through time - but if we really look deeply into this without judgement, we can see that it is an illusion that we have created and maintain. Our egoic-mind filters the information that it receives through our senses and uses this distorted view as a means of self-preservation.

- The whole universe appears to be on a journey to completeness:
- Planets revolve, as if they are wheels moving toward a destination.
- Gravity pulls and holds as if to fulfill a purpose.
- Flowers stretch upward toward the sunlight - as if they are trying to get closer.
- Life appears to evolve to higher forms of itself

All of this appears to have a meaning, but it can have no meaning other than that which we think we decide. We are lead to believe by our thoughts that life is a journey with a sublime purpose, but we are mistaken - because reality is always a full-on present existence right here and right now. The idea that our lives are heading somewhere sometime in the future is a trick of our imagination. Where else could it go? Time is not real, but an imagined process. Nothing happens anywhere but in the present.

BUT WHAT ABOUT GOD, THE BIBLE, AND EVERYTHING?

The religious books are full of pointers to nondual reality. For example, let's look at "The Parable of the Lost Son," one of the most beloved stories from the New Testament found in St. Luke 15:11-32 - the words in italics are my commentary.

"There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said to his father, 'Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he divided his property between them.

The parable does not share the background motive for the younger son’s demands – could it be the drive for fulfillment, or happiness – that he thought was elsewhere?

"Not long after that, the younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant country and there squandered his wealth in wild living. After he had spent everything, there was a severe famine in that whole country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to a citizen of that country, who sent him to his fields to feed pigs. He longed to fill his stomach with the pods that the pigs were eating, but no one gave him anything.

His seeking of fulfillment elsewhere turned into the experience of greater lack – he did not find what he was looking for – only more dissatisfaction.

"When he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have food to spare, and here I am starving to death! I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.

“he came to his senses” – in other words, he became aware of reality and accepted that happiness was not elsewhere – the fulfillment that he sought was where he had started. What he sought was what he already had, in the presence of the Father.

Religion focuses on the journey of repentance – the path of earning back, or restoring the Father’s approval. However, consider the significance of the last few well-chosen words of this passage:

"I will set out and go back to my father and say to him: Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me like one of your hired men.' So he got up and went to his father.

"But while he was still a long way off…..

In other words, the father had no expectations of behavior on the part of the prodigal son, … his return home was enough.

"The son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.'

"But the father said to his servants, 'Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet.Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.

Once again, the son tries to repent of his behavior – and again the Father’s UNCONDITIONAL love is revealed:

"... But the father said....

"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. 'Your brother has come,' he replied, 'and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound.'

"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'

" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

This last passage reveals the paradoxical truth of nondual reality – we are never separated from love, the source of our lives – everything we have is already here. The fulfillment of our seeking is in the realization that what we seek is already the case. It is the very act of seeking for it that causes the dissatisfaction! The prodigal son was lost only in his own delusion – the end of his seeking was his finding. Like the older son, our first reaction when we discover our true nature may be anger, or frustration - because it seems so unfair when we have been so diligent in our seeking - but our discovery should be a reason for celebration.

Random Sparks of Nonduality - Part One (of Many)

2009-10-19T23:22:00.005-04:00

From time to time thoughts arise that point to the bare awareness of reality. Here are some of them.

- Wholeness does not arise gradually.
- Practice does not make perfect - it only manifests the perfection that was already present in absolute awareness.
- No one ever becomes realized because no one exists in realization.
- Nothing changes after realization because there was nothing before and after realization.
- You appear to be seeking for what is already present.
- The seeking is the separation - liberation is not at the end of the search, it is at the end of the searcher.
- Anyone who says that they are liberated or realized is speaking falsely - all they can say is that realization is in the awareness of everything happening as it is.
- No one can change their nature - they can only give up the idea that they have one.- The divine nature is not separate from human nature - how can it ever be separated, for it is life itself?
- Our consciousness is more like a river than a lake - all flowing from and to the same source.
- We don't say "I am a body" - we say "I have a body" - why?
- We speak of our body as having a brain, legs, arms and hands. If we are not those things, or in any of those things, what are we? Where are we?
- We say that we come into the world - but actually nothing comes out of the world and pretends to be something.
- Some say that the world was created out of nothing - because before there was anything there was nothing, but nothing was created because nothing has not stopped existing, and if nothing exists then there cannot be anything.
- We cannot move toward perfection for perfection is not a gradual attainment - perfection is only found in completeness.
- At what moment does a thought become an action? Isn't action always a response to a thought in the past? But everything we do happens now when we do it - so the past has no reality other than in our thoughts.
- We are not what we appear to be, but what appears is all there is.
- In the public world of Advaita there's always room for one more, but, in the true sense of Advaita there's no room for another.
- Nonduality doesn't require our belief. It only requires our death.
- Realization is the dance between "me"-ing and "be"-ing.
- To be realized is to be content with not knowing that you are.
- The Self wants a solution that is only found when it stops wanting it.
- The idea that we are on a journey to become a better version of ourselves is an illusion. We are already that.
- You can't become anything other than what you already are, until you stop trying.
- Awareness occurs at the moment before thoughts occur.
- Trying to outrun thoughts - it is impossible!
- We do not create our thoughts - our thoughts create us.

Scratching with a feather

2009-10-14T15:36:00.005-04:00

What follows is a "beginner's" view of Advaita, or Non-duality as an experience described in time. Of course, this is a contradiction in terms because in reality there are no beginners, and no masters, in time. There is just THIS awareness of what is happening right now.

"Don't keep searching for the truth;
just let go of your opinions.

For the mind in harmony with the Tao, all selfishness disappears.

With not even a trace of self-doubt,
you can trust the universe completely.

All at once you are free,
with nothing left to hold on to.

All is empty, brilliant,
perfect in its own being.

In the world of things as they are,
there is no self, no non self.

If you want to describe its essence,
the best you can say is "Not-two."

In this "Not-two" nothing is separate,
and nothing in the world is excluded.

The enlightened of all times and places have entered into this truth.

In it there is no gain or loss;
one instant is ten thousand years.
There is no here, no there;
infinity is right before your eyes.

The tiny is as large as the vast when objective boundaries have vanished;
the vast is as small as the tiny when you don't have external limits.

Being is an aspect of non-being;
non-being is no different from being.

Until you understand this truth,
you won't see anything clearly."

- Seng T'san, the third Zen Patriarch,
"The Mind of Absolute Trust," from Stephen Mitchell's "The Enlightened Heart"

THE SCRATCH OF AN ITCHY FEATHER

The subject of Advaita (an ancient sanskrit word, meaning: "Not Two") is fascinating, but talking about it is like scratching a perpetual itch with a feather.

I have fallen in love with the subject, and enjoy the challenge of trying to explain it, or share it; even though, by its very nature, it is beyond any definition grasped by the dualistic mind. The mind always needs comparative ideas and previously known "facts" in order to appropriate any new concepts. All known truth is borrowed information and does not come through a pure channel.

Advaita, or non-duality, is elusive. It is not a religion in itself, in fact, its understanding leads to the end of all religious belief as being final, for these are seen as merely pointers or "reference points" to the reality that is ever-present beyond them. Non-duality is deeply rooted in the foundations of all the teachings of the great founders of the world's religions, as the principal of oneness, as the fulfillment of the religion and its practices.

- Jesus speaks of non-duality when he mentions the oneness between himself, his followers, and God the Father.

- Sufis interpret Mohammed's creedal call as being "There is nothing but Allah."

- Buddhists speak of the emptiness of all things; "form is emptiness, emptiness is form."

- Hindus speak of the unity of life: "all is Brahman."

The perceived problems in life that lead everyone to seek fulfillment through a variety of means, religion, career, wealth, fame, sex, drugs, alcohol, food, etc., all seem to result from the overwhelming "itch" of this sense of apparent separation from the source of unity or completeness.

RELIGION, THE SCRATCH OF GRACE

Religion, a means of "re-connecting" (from latin re-ligere, connect again), appears at first, for some of us, to be the best form of scratching for the itch of this anxiety, or suffering, that is the apparent separation. But if you look at it deeply, religion often only serves to feed the sense of separation by strengthening the illusion of a "destination" or state of being that is "out there" or distant from the present reality; that somehow must be attained or "realized."

In Christianity it's called "salvation," and depending on the denominational interpretation, is something that is received as a gift, but not fulfilled until after death, or is a process that continues forever as one develops through grace that grows in response to effort, into the image of Christ. ("Theosis") where an individual soul "communes with God in heaven" for eternity.

In Buddhism, this "reconnecting" is seen as awakening or enlightenment, and is attained either in a bright moment of Satori (sudden awakening), or is a gradual growth into self-awareness that culminates in the attainment of Nirvana - or consciousness of the emptiness of everything that is mythically described as the Pure Land (a kind of Buddhist heaven).

All religions speak of a journey - but for there to be a journey implies a destination that is not here - a physical or spiritual "place" that exists elsewhere in time. The problem is that time, of course, is an agreed upon mental projection that does not exist in reality, but serves as a mental tool for dividing what is actually the eternal present into manageable moments.

So, apparently, from a religious point of view, there are seekers. Their seeking leads them on a journey through life to an apparent future state of existence that fulfills all desire for meaning. As the seeking and searching becomes more intense the distance between the one who seeks and the goal of the search grows ever wider.

NO SCRATCH, NO ITCH - MY APPARENT EXPERIENCE

One day I became very aware of the futility of this process of constantly seeking - as if somehow I'd managed to peek behind the curtain in the Emerald City and see the show for what it is. The desire to seek went away and in that instant I realized that there is no separation between awakening and the present moment. There was liberation happening - not as a process but as eternally present. There was no journey, there was no destination - in that instant I was already here where everything happens - it only happens right here. No past, or future - just right here and right now. This awareness is pure grace - no effort, no sacrifice, no bartering - it just happened.

There was no sense that I had become something different, or someone special, there was no desire to shed all my possessions and move to a cave in the Himalayas. Apart from the nagging headache that lingered for a few days, everything was perfectly ordinary and very natural. There is, however a tremendous lingering desire to tell people about it, - which to me is just another form of the "itch," indicating the continued presence of an apparent ego that still wants to preserve and exert its influence upon me - re-affirming my sense of separateness from all things. But this too is to be accepted.

The ultimate joke in all of this is that all my seeking and searching had to be. There was no purpose in it other than it had to be so that it could lead to its own end. There is only that which leads to what is happening now. It was not bad, and it was not good - it just happened.

The awareness that IS this doesn't require anything from anyone. No change of religion, no asceticism, no acquisition or disposal. All is contained in it, for there is nothing else! There is also no apparent discouragement for doing these things either - they happen as necessary, for no other reason than that they seem appropriate. There is no sense of bartering behavior for good favor. Whatever is done is done for its own sake and the morality of it is decided by its impact and not by its intent.

Also, there is no compulsion that this must be the way things should be for everyone else - for in this awakening there is only one Self experiencing all of this through everything that is contained within it.

WHAT NOW?

Everything is as it should be, and always has been. All of the suffering in life appears to be rooted in the act of non-acceptance of things as they are - good, or bad. This doesn't mean that we should choose to be nihilistic and accept bad things without resistance, or that life has no meaning. On the contrary, everything has infinite meaning and happens as part of the experience of the only Self. There are no more isolated events - all events, good or bad, affect everyone. Compassion in awareness, is no longer the work of a few, but the responsibility of all. The ego appears to exist as a means of protection from the overwhelming pain of universal awareness of suffering, thus it might be perceived as dangerous to seek its elimination.

In reality we do not exist as separate, unconnected beings, but the illusion of separateness has a purpose that can only be seen in light of the awareness of all that is happening.

Life is This - all that is happening right now is life.

Life is not a temporary thing - it is always appearing and disappearing in multiple forms, with the consciousness that is life, seeing itself, continuing.

Don't seek the experience of awakening - it cannot be sought. It cannot be attained. It is already the case - it needs only to be accepted. Reality can be trusted - it does not need our approval or need to be understood. It is just what is happening.

RELAX!!!!

Thoughts of a Non-Denominational Human

2009-10-08T18:36:00.019-04:00

The other day I was flipping through some of my old journals and found this. I wrote it a few years ago - perhaps as a chapter of a "some day in the future" book....... enjoy..

Let me begin by saying that what follows is not a basis for forming a religion, cult or organization in the future. When my words leave my mouth - they should go to your ears - be processed, and interpreted by your brain and you should decide then and there whether you accept them or not. To reject them is just as valid as to accept them - there is no middle ground. I either speak the truth or I do not.

What I want to share is my understanding of reality - not that you should adopt it, but so that you can use if for a springboard for the development of your own understanding.

Everything that we hear, see, or read is interpreted by our thought patterns that have developed over the years through observation and evaluation. Usually we validate all things by something that preceded them. Truth cannot be new - it is always a re-statement or re-cognition of something that has preceded it. One cannot really "discover" a new truth - they can only re-interpret what already is.

If you're anything like me - you were raised with the idea that there is a purpose for our lives that we must seek in order to find. For some of us it may be a calling or vocation - others may just seek to better themselves and live a happy life. In all cases we are programmed by our culture that there is something that we must attain - something apart from us that requires effort on our part to reach fulfillment. No more is this apparent than in the search for spiritual awakening or enlightenment, or to use the more traditional term; salvation.

THE ENDLESS PATH OF SEEKING

The first point of departure is usually some sort of seeking - these days it's via web or via the library - to review our options. We also start attending various religious meetings and gatherings to see what they have to say. Each of them usually present a sincerely intentioned view of reality and solicit some sort of belief that what they say is true. Usually some kind of commitment is necessary in order to be fully included.

I have spent what is now the majority of my life seeking and finding - rejecting, then seeking and finding - and rejecting again, along all the spiritual paths in search of fulfillment of this longing to be complete as a human being.

I have had many false starts - I enter a path - join a religion, and find after a few months or years, that the religion is offering only more confusion and creating more obstacles in my path that create distance between me and the goal of my search. All kinds of hoops and ladders require my attention in order to get to the right level of acceptance within the community.

What I've discovered through all my searching is that all religions teach love, compassion and forgiveness. All religions teach that their founder is the perfect expression of the virtues of the practice - yet all members of the religion fall far short of the virtues of the founder, and rather turn the message of hope, love and fulfillment, into a means of dividing one group of people from all others. Each one has "scriptural proof" that all the others are false or corrupted.

So, I've come to the conclusion that although seeking is a good thing - the finding is a problem.

THE REVELATION OF SEEKING

Seeking has revealed a few things to me:

Seeking:

Reveals that I have a sense of lack in my life.
Stirs a sense of longing within me.
Evokes mysterious recollections of how things should be - as if I already know.
Draws me back to someplace that I'm not aware of having been before.
Implies that there is distance between me and that which I seek.
Creates a sense of fear of failure, or purposelessness.
That I fall short of my own expectations that I unrealistically define.
That the mind, emotions and senses cannot be trusted.

Shaykh Idries Shah has a wonderful saying:

"People seeking mystical attainment expect it on their own terms, and hence generally exclude themselves from it before they start. Nobody can hope to arrive at illumination if he thinks that he knows what it is, and believes that he can achieve it through a well-defined path which he can conceive at the moment of starting."

- Shaykh Idries Shah - The Sufis

Christianity, of which I am most familiar, is a religion about transformation of character - the traditional and quite beautiful message of Christianity is that Jesus Christ, both God and Man, chose to incarnate and die a sacrificial death in order to re-establish the pure divine nature in mankind that had been damaged and splintered by the sins of our primary ancestors - the mythical prototypes of humanity, called Adam and Eve. The uncreated, eternal and timeless God entered time to restore all things.

When I read the words of Christ - recorded a few decades after the event - I hear in them the loud announcement that heaven (the divine world) has come to earth - it is at hand - it is in our reach - it is here.

"The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand"

- Mark 1:15

The words of the "greatest" Apostles tell us:

"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

- St. Paul, Epistle to the Romans Chap. 8:38-39

"Grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord; seeing that His divine power has granted to us everything pertaining to life and godliness, through the true knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and excellence.For by these He has granted to us His precious and magnificent promises, so that by them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that is in the world by lust."

- St. Peter, Second Letter to the Syriacs, Chap 1:3-4

When I read those words it seems to me that the Apostles were telling everyone that Jesus' manifestation had delivered everything, i.e. full salvation, or enlightenment to us, and that nothing can take it away from us. Yet, when I go to Church I hear that salvation is a process - that we must work toward it, strive for it.

The Church (that we know today) didn't really organize itself as we know it today until nearly the middle ages, some several hundred years after the events that the bible describes. Indeed, the Gospel accounts were written to support the churches and not the other way around.

So, is it possible that the bible and the teachings of Christianity do not reflect accurately the nature of the full teachings of Jesus? I'm not saying that they don't - I'm just raising the question.

Other religions have the same heritage. Their writings coming after their verbal expression, the writings support the traditions and not vice versa.

The purpose of these written works; these scriptures, appears to serve the thinking, questioning mind. To seek requires a tangible path to follow - a path built on written words is solid and indisputable.

I'd like to propose another possible way of looking at scripture. A way that doesn't deny them - but draws life from them.

What if we viewed scripture as an interpretation of the founder's words?

The words, instead of becoming dogma, then become the words that were recorded through the mind of another - just as you might be recording and processing my words - interpreting the meaning for you personally.

Thus a Christian should be a follower of the intentions of Christ - and not a follower of the bible's interpretations of Christ. I propose that the intentions of Christ are found clearly expressed through the teachings of the Sermon on the Mount and in his interactions with others found in the gospel accounts.

How can I assume to understand the intentions of Christ? Is this presumption on my part?

Yes and No.

Yes, it's presumptuous on my part if I do it from my own volition.

No, however, if Jesus has promised that on his departure from our plane of existence that the Holy Spirit would complete his work and provide guidance for his followers.

True faith then would make it seem natural to let go of my own efforts and trust the Holy Spirit to guide the outcome of my well-intentioned actions. Religion in its traditional rule-keeping role then becomes unnecessary.

THE GOOD NEWS OF THE PRESENT MOMENT

All throughout Christian scripture there is the description of the element of process; gradual transformation from one state of being to another. Even Jesus is portrayed as "growing in wisdom" (Luke 2:52) and as "becoming" the source of salvation (Hebrews 5:9). Reality is always present - the Truth is not somewhere else that we have to go get it - it is always right here and right now. The process is not a movement but a coming into the ever present moment.

Did Jesus become the Son of God or was He always the Son of God?

This was a discussion that caused a lot of suffering and confusion during the first few centuries after Christ. The church councils decided that He was ALWAYS the Son of God; of the same nature as the Father.

Although I do not profess to know the answer to the debated question - I do agree with their decision - because, in reality, there can be no such thing as time; past, present and future - everything happens now. So in describing God, there can be no progression or expansion - logically that which defines perfection itself can have no process of improvement. The only thing about Jesus that changed over time was His awareness of his nature. In this I can see how we are created in the image of God. Imminently possessing the nature of God but unaware.

Jesus, in fact, quoted Psalm 82 when He said: "Has it not been written in your Law, 'I SAID, YOU ARE GODS'?" - John 10:34

Here's perhaps an alternate view of Christianity for you to consider:

Did Jesus became one of us that we might come to know that we are united (at One) with Him?

Is this the "at-one-ment" of salvation?

..... to be continued ......

A Higher Definition of Life

2009-09-27T15:53:00.018-04:00

Our old TV was beginning to die - you can tell when that happens. Each time you turned it on it took a little bit longer to respond - then, when the images started to appear, they never quite came into full focus, or remained in focus for very long.

Although our old TV was "High Definition" - it was not as "High Definition" as the new one that we bought to replace it. The new one was cheaper than its predecessor, more lightweight, and had far better picture quality in a much more compact design.

After watching a good film or program on a high definition TV you become very aware of the flaws in the quality of the lower definition alternatives, and this lack of clarity almost becomes irritating, distracting, and diminishes the impact of the event.

The same could be said about my spiritual view of life over the past few months.

THE CLARITY OF REALITY

Since I abandoned my grasp of a "belief-based" interpretation of reality, I feel as if I've discovered a "Higher Definition" version of life.

I had tried so hard to embrace the "ancient" beliefs that I believed provided a concrete explanation for the meaning and purpose of life. It seemed so wonderful to think that we were here for a great purpose that extended into eternity. Secretly, there was also a deep-seated sense of self-satisfaction that I was one of the "privileged" few that knew this "truth."

After nearly 30 years of trying to find a suitable interpretation of life that I could embrace, it wasn't easy to consider that my earnest, deep, heartfelt search for truth (with a capital "T"), was an endless pursuit in futility! But such is the nature of an awakening. It reveals that one was dreaming. An awakening does not happen according to the terms of normal understanding. An awakening is a pure gift from an unexpected source.

THE FUZZY DREAM IS OVER

Awakening is not perhaps the right word. By it, I don't mean to imply that I am enlightened in the sense of a Buddha or some great mystical master. My awakening refers to a realization that to seek for something, with the goal of identifying it when you find it, simply means that you must have previously experienced it or known it before - else there is no re-cognition ("knowing again.") Therefore, the goal for which I sought - a relationship with God, meaning, purpose, fulfillment, peace, etc..., call it what you will... could not be anywhere elsewhere than already present in my life. I was just unaware of it. When that realization occurred, the process of "seeking" began to stop.

I cannot adequately describe the sense of release and freedom that I've experienced since I let go of the desire to seek - it's the ultimate solution to all seeking. How ironic that the end of seeking in not found in the finding, but in the abandoning of the search and the embrace of reality "as it is" in all its uncertainty.

Now I read spiritual books and perform spiritual practices of my choosing for the pure joy of it, and not for any sense of justification or expectations of some kind of spiritual attainment.

There are a number of writers and philosophers that speak and write about this full-frontal embrace of reality, under different names and terms. Some call it "Choiceless Awareness" - others speak of "Present or Timeless Awareness." It all comes down to a principle of non-grasping and complete openness to life. This view of life as being one continuous wholeness - where there is no division between people, places and things as being separate existences within a past, present and future can often be misunderstood as a nihilistic view - where nothing has meaning or purpose beyond the present moment. However, my experience is the opposite case. Now that I can appreciate how inter-dependent everything is, and how the idea of independent existence is an illusion of the mind, I appreciate life much more as a moment by moment experience with no greater purpose than that which it has right now.

Life is its own purpose.
Like a dance or a piece of music.
The meaning does not come at the end - the meaning is found in its very performance.

There is no curse
There is no salvation from a curse
There is just life - there is just this - happening.
In all its joy, sadness and even in its death.

Life's miracle is being human.

"I did my best to notice
When the call came down the line

Up to the platform of surrender
I was brought but I was kind

And sometimes I get nervous
When I see an open door
Close your eyes, clear your heart
Cut the cord

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

Pay my respects to grace and virtue
Send my condolences to good
Give my regards to soul and romance
They always did the best they could

And so long to devotion
You taught me everything I know
Wave goodbye, wish me well
You've gotta let me go

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

Will your system be alright
When you dream of home tonight?
There is no message we're receiving
Let me know, is your heart still beating?

Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer

You've gotta let me know
Are we human or are we dancer?
My sign is vital, my hands are cold
And I'm on my knees looking for the answer
Are we human or are we dancer?

Are we human or are we dancer?
Are we human or are we dancer?"
- "Human" - The Killers

The Last Word

2009-09-10T22:04:00.016-04:00

"I, Paul, write this greeting with my own hand.

If anyone has no love for the Lord,
let him be accursed."

- 1 Corinthians 16:21-22 (ESV)

I must have read the Bible hundreds of times during my 20 or so years as a Christian.

I've even led Bible studies on the New Testament book of 1 Corinthians. It used to be one of my favorites - it's the letter of the Apostle Paul where you'll find the beautiful poetic words about "Love," that so many couples choose as a reading at their wedding:

"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels,
but have not love,
I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
And if I have prophetic powers,
and understand all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have all faith,
so as to remove mountains,
but have not love,
I am nothing.

If I give away all I have,
and if I deliver up my body to be burned,
but have not love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient and kind;
love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
it does not rejoice at wrongdoing,
but rejoices with the truth.

Love bears all things,
believes all things,
hopes all things,
endures all things.

Love never ends.

As for prophecies,
they will pass away;
as for tongues,
they will cease;
as for knowledge,
it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when the perfect comes,
the partial will pass away.

When I was a child,
I spoke like a child,
I thought like a child,
I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man,
I gave up childish ways.
For now we see in a mirror dimly,
but then face to face.
Now I know in part;
then I shall know fully,
even as I have been fully known.

So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three;
but the greatest of these is love."

- 1 Corinthians 13 (ESV)

THE PROBLEM WITH BELIEF

Today, a friend pointed out 1 Corinthians 16:22 and I saw what I consider to be the last or defining word on Christianity.

"If anyone has no love for the Lord, let him be accursed."

Twelve words that express what is wrong with all religions.

Coming at the end of one of the letters of St. Paul, that many claim defines the role of the Church - this verse clearly states (in Paul's own hand yet!!) one of the principles he wants the church to understand, and being at the end of the letter, it is one that they'll most likely remember! And so it goes......

THE "IN" AND THE "OUT"

Within every system founded on agreed beliefs there is a sense of community that must be preserved from outsiders. Therefore, in an attempt to remain true to its beliefs the community draws a clear dividing line between those who are "in", and those who are "out."

The Bible and other scriptures are full of well-chosen, and diligently recorded words that are often used by the community to control people - sometimes positively through the emotions, as in 1 Corinthians 13 - "The Love Chapter," then through their minds, with contrived manipulation of logic - i.e. "The Bible is inspired, therefore it must be true, therefore when it says that people who don't love the Lord (whatever that means) are to be accursed, it means that only the ones who love God are saved!!"

So you end up with people in crazy wigs holding up signs at football games, or yelling Bible verses through a megaphone on street corners, trying to persuade people that if they don't freely choose to love God then the all-loving and merciful God will freely choose to let them burn forever!!! NICE.

Now I am free of this pretzel logic; this double-bind that tells you that you have to love or else!!!

Love never comes out of fear - love only ever comes out of love. Love is contagious, but it's not spread with threats or condemnation.

What happened to the Apostle Paul between Chapters 13 and 16?

Did he not read his own words?

Another problem with a verse like 1 Corinthians 16:22 is that it proposes a totally illogical premise. If someone "does not love the Lord they're accursed" - what if someone just PRETENDS to love the Lord? How does one bring another to love the Lord if it has already been decided that they're accursed? Are God's curses conditional? Apparently, according to this verse, his love appears to be that way.

As we're talking about belief - here's what I've come to believe about the Bible, and any scripture like it that contains verses that curse people in the name of God or Truth. The truly accursed ones are those who believe verses like these and who live their lives in a state of self-righteousness, predicting the cruel fates of those that don't agree with them.

Some scripture is true for its own sake and does not need a religion to interpret it. Here's a good example:

"Love is patient and kind;

love does not envy or boast;
it is not arrogant or rude.
It does not insist on its own way;"

A Quiet Revolution

2009-09-02T17:24:00.003-04:00

"A quiet revolution in spirituality is taking place.

There is a growing sense that freedom cannot be found in philosophies, religions, ideologies; that it cannot be located in books, or reached through lifetimes of intense spiritual practice; that it cannot be passed on by enlightened or awakened spiritual masters; that it cannot be owned, cannot be taught, cannot be captured."

- Jeff Foster, Life Without A Centre

I had lunch with a good friend today and we talked about the struggles of letting go of belief, and the stages of thinking that we appear to go through as we learn to release ourselves from our self-willed prison of fear and superstition. My friend jokingly remarked that he struggles with letting go of the image of a "Big Sugar-Daddy in the sky," and we laughed about how strange it is that nothing actually changes when that belief is abandoned, but what is felt to be missing is a strongly held sense of security in being able to talk to this invisible friend during times of fear and uncertainty.

OVERCOMING BELIEF

I have written before about what I call the Hypersensitive Evangelical Disease. But, as I continue my process of recovery I keep reflecting on how bound up I was in the belief that life was a test - a kind of practice for the next life.

What a terrible waste of the ever-present and wonderful gift of life this viewpoint caused.

What unnecessary anxiety it created about the eternal "destiny" of friends and family members.

If I believed in a literal Satan, getting people to accept this religious viewpoint, would have to be "his" greatest achievement!!

I have not lost my faith in God - as many people might think, if they read or hear my words at face value. I have lost nothing. In fact, it could be said that I have, in fact, gained everything.

These days:

I do not blindly believe in God as interpreted from the literalist viewpoint of the Bible and/or Christianity.

I do not choose to see God with any form - let alone that of a man, or woman.

I have not "swapped" a "western" image of God, for an "eastern" image.

I have not assigned God, and humanity, to specific places in the universe. No heaven, no hell. No "up there" or "down here."

I do not feel the need to divide people into "saved" or "unsaved," "lost" or "found," "believers" or "unbelievers."

... and the result of all this, so far, is that I'm feeling more content in my "faith" than I ever felt before!!!

I am beginning to see beyond belief. I am seeing that reality is far more beautiful than what I previously chose to believe about it.

Beyond belief there is nothing more wonderful than all that is right now - there is nothing else but what is right now! This is It. It's all that there ever is.

The past is only a mental construction of memory, while the future is a wishful, (or hopeless) mental projection. Life only exists in this very present moment as NOW.

THE POETRY AND MUSIC OF LIFE

What I'm trying to express in words that serve merely as pointers, is that all these stories about life having an ultimate purpose are fables. Which is not to imply that life is meaningless in a negative sense, but on the contrary, that life is its own complete purpose. Like music or poetry, life itself has no other meaning than that which it is given by the one doing it.

Having spent most of my adult life as a spiritual seeker - it is a tremendous joy to be able to drop it all and realize that there is nothing to seek beyond "this." There is nothing to "find" because what I seek has never been "lost."

Someone who has never been a spiritual seeker may not understand the anguish of those of us who have spent years researching and studying religion after religion - looking for a mysterious fulfillment that would make everything right. But, for those who have travelled that road - realizing that you are home, and have been all along is a wonderful release!

The mind, combined with the ego, always seeks something to affirm its own existence as a separate meaningful personality.

What it seeks is an illusion of its own creation. Ironically, it seeks truth blindly, yet affirms to itself that it will recognize this truth when it sees it. Thus, the paradox of consciousness already possessing what it seeks to own.

The path of seeking is an endless road.

WAVE GOODBYE

We are like a wave that seeks desperately to know its unique existence. All the while, failing to realize that we are, and always have been, inseparable from the ocean that is life itself. As long as we, like the wave, maintain our view that we are separate and live a divided existence we will never come to rest in our true nature as ocean; as life itself.

This is the true meaning of awakening - it's not the gaining of a new belief. It is the full-on entrusting of ourselves to life itself, so that we merge back into that which has always been the case all along.

Life becomes all meaningful - nothing is wasted - nothing is purposeless. God becomes fully conscious of God and all life flows.

"There is nothing to know.

Nothing to seek.

Nothing to find.

There is only the watching of this dance of life.

No watcher.

The mind is clear, empty space.

The heart is connected to all that it sees.

The within is the without."

- Scott Kiloby

The Futility of Seeking

2009-08-24T15:21:00.000-04:00

Recently, I attended a web-seminar given by Jeff Foster, a non-dualist "non-teacher" from the U.K., who struggled for several hours to describe the experience of nondual reality, using words that fail to explain the inexpressible.......... (For more information about Jeff you can go to his website.)

When the session was over - I sensed a spirit of camaraderie among all the other attendees, together with Jeff, in the frustration of a consciousness that prevails in trying to balance the irreconcilable paradox of sensing how simple everything is, in practical reality, with how hard it is, in day to day terms, to accept things as they are and to enjoy the natural state of present consciousness, without this constant nagging "pain" or anxiety that drives us to seek to know more. To "attain enlightenment."

In my opinion, the issue of understanding, and/or "attaining" enlightenment seems to come down to two possible alternatives.

You can keep asking questions and conducting deep research until you find satisfactory answers to all the questions about the meaning and purpose of life. - or -
You can stop asking questions and accept things as they are.

OPTION ONE - THE ENDLESS PATHS

For most of my adult life, as a result of what I would call a "glimpse" of reality - a spiritual experience, some would call it - I have passionately pursued the first option. Diving deeply into the teachings of all the various world religions - looking for the practical evidence of truth - that I could appropriate and use to transform myself into a fully-enlightened person, so that I could live a fulfilling, meaningful existence in full conformity with that reality.

I have spent more than 30 years on that path - and I openly admit, candidly, that my experiences have revealed to me that all of the various religions of the world, although all proclaiming to have the One, Universal Truth that answers all of the deep questions, fall significantly short in confirming what I know from experience. Admittedly, each of the religions has done a fine job of developing explanations for the way things are - but none of them has done this in a manner that does not have some political or filial alternative agenda that strives to separate the outsiders from the insiders by some sort of non-verifiable "belief." As if reality is determined by what we believe about it - and not vice-versa.

All in all, I've seen religion as basically the proclamation of the observed interactions between the founder, or originator of the "teachings," and the disciples or followers and outsiders at a particular point in time. It is fairly obvious from the scriptures or traditions that remain, that very few, if any, of the narrators, or witnesses of the actual event thoroughly understood their leader. For examples of this, you need only look at the recorded words of Jesus, or the Buddha, in context, and observe the confusion among the hearers about what was actually being communicated. The reported words of Allah's angelic messenger to Muhammad also provide little verifiable information about the nature of reality, and in fact, the Sufi approach to Islam is geared toward the mystical nature of reality - focusing more on the questions that the Qur'an raises, than the details of the revelation itself, which deals more with vertical attitudes toward God and horizontal behavior between humans, than with the definitive answers to eternal questions.

The belief that there is one truth that conforms to reality, and the drive to find it, seems to be genetic in some of us - and in some ways, at least personally, it resembles a kind of compulsive syndrome or brain disorder, like an itch or mental "tick" that cannot be suppressed without great difficulty!!!

OPTION TWO - THE PATHLESS ENDS

So, hesitatingly, thanks to speakers (I won't say teachers, despite the temptation) like Jeff Foster, Scott Kiloby, Tony Parsons, Ramesh Balsekar, Randall Friend, Nathan Gill, John Greven, Jiddu Krishnamurti, Alan Watts and many others, who have written, spoken, and generally debated the idea of nondual reality very effectively within the confines of naturally dualistic language, I am decidedly persuaded to attempt the second approach to gaining, or experiencing enlightenment; learning to accept reality just as it is.

WHERE DO I GO FROM NOT-HERE?

The precursor to realization of non-dual reality is to grasp the concept that gaining enlightenment is in fact an illusion of the mind. To become fully aware of the Oneness of all things it is vital to hold on to a core belief (until it becomes a verifiable personal experience) that we cannot change our consciousness from the outside. We can only let go of self-imposed mental boundaries that we have unwittingly agreed to maintain as a means of protection from the irrational fear of self-oblivion that our ego, as a protector of individual personality, has created. People who have drug-induced experiences of Oneness often refer to this as an "expansion of consciousness" - but, I think, that actually it is a reduction or breakdown of this ego-centered barrier, so that the mind is free to see beyond itself. Many contemporary seers and mystics, like Ram Dass and Alan Watts, who've experienced both the drug-induced and natural experience of Oneness, say that the former is a "glimpse" of the latter, beneficial and sustainable state of mind.

LEARNING TO LET GO

So, from this point on - this blog will take a new direction - as I attempt to express in words, the indescribable experience of approaching nondual reality from a personal perspective.

Now you may ask - dear reader - why this should matter to you?

Good question.

Perhaps it shouldn't and it's with that approach that I undertake this "experiment."

However, I think, based on the feedback from some of my fellow listeners on yesterday's seminar, there are a lot of people who are struggling with getting to a place of consciousness that is already present. Like me, there are many who understand the theory of Advaita, or nondualism, but who cannot conceive of any way to experience it. Another way of saying that, perhaps in more nondualist terms: like me, they understand the logical possibility of nondual reality but they desire to experience the consciousness that arises from the dropping of the persistent illusory sense of an existing individual self, separate from every other thing in the universe.

Here's what Jeff Foster says, very profoundly, about nonduality:

"The message of nonduality is simple:

nothing is separate from anything else.

But apparent separation is at the root of everything the individual does;

indeed, the individual is nothing but apparent separation,

and that separation drives the entire spiritual search

and the quest for the dissolution of the ego,

as well as all worldly pursuits.

But the seeking mind (that is, "you", the individual) will never be able to grasp this message,

as, to the mind, this message is nothing but its own dissolution, that is, its own death.

Yes, this message is death, but it is also life. All life is here, all life is now......."

- Jeff Foster, The Message of Nonduality, Beyond Awakening, p. 28